Family dinner coming up... Facing Fears??

[blueskies96]

Hi! So...

It's my mum's birthday this Sunday and usually for family events I talk my way out of it ESPECIALLY if there's food involved... Eating new foods, made by other people, where it's rude to inspect or pick at it, surrounded by judgemental family members.... basically my worst nightmare.

It makes me feel horribly guilty of course, I hate avoiding birthdays or celebratory events. But I really want to push myself this time. It just causes fights otherwise.

At the dinner there will be family AND friends, and it's at a restaurant I've never been to before. It's Indian food - I don't think I've ever had Indian before.

I have a nut allergy which makes me really scared of eating out, even though it's only mild, but I emailed the restaurant and asked if they use nut ingredients and they said usually no, but ask at the buffet to make sure on the night. So it should be fine.

But I'm working myself up into a panic - I've been terrified of this exact scenario for years.

I'm scared I'll have a panic attack and look stupid in front of family and friends, or look rude and disrespectful if I don't eat the food. I don't want to draw attention to myself or make a scene.

And if I had an allergic reaction - that's another nightmare of mine!! I feel like I'm facing a lot at once. Ahhhhhhh... I'm really nervous.

If anyone has any advice or similar experiences I'd love to hear!

[G.Samsa]

Hi blueskies,

I really struggle with these situations too. I avoid eating out because I worry that I will become too anxious to eat and therefore seem rude and draw attention to myself. It's a real problem...

I think it's causing some tension with my friends, no fights but I feel as though they become frustrated with me and I don't really know how to deal with it.

It's been a couple of months now, how did things go?

[dally]

my gut goes into very painful spams when I 'have' to eat out. Sometimes resulting in diahorroea.

I usually take 2 paracetamol for cramp pain. I odium (incase I can prevent it turning in to full blown diarrhoea) and I used to take propanallol before I developed asthma.

All this just to try to be sociable. I have also tried telling people!e I have an upset stomach, just so I can at least attend a social gathering without eating but I feel so awkward when everyone else is eating and constantly offering me food.

[HalfJack]

I only started eating indian food a few years ago but I've eaten a lot of indian food and none of it had nuts in, so there is bound to be a lot there you can eat. Plus the restaurant doesn't want to be sued or get a bad reputation so it's within their interest to help you.
Good luck x