Need advice about gad boyfriend's trust issues.

[GADlover]

Hello,
My boyfriend has GAD. We've been together 7 months, and I have been very understanding and supportive; I've done research, and we've talked through many issues. He's on meds, and sees a psychologist and psychiatrist.

The problem I'm not sure we can get through is his lack of trust with me. I was handling his jealousy ok, but now there's another issue on the table that's making it difficult.

I made the mistake of telling him i had a boyfriend 20 years ago who was a heroin addict. This set him off looking for track marks on my arms. He had a friend who died from an overdose several years ago. Now he looks at me with disappointment and distrust.

I don't know what to do. Is this something that will work itself out? Is there anyway of getting him to move on? It is frustrating to be constantly doubted.

Any advice will be appreciated!

Annie

[debs71]

Hi,

I think the main thing to perhaps bear in mind here is that your boyfriend's anxiety will be driving and affecting his way of thinking, and making him overly sensitive and reactive to almost everything. Unfortunately, that is the nature of anxiety, even if one has suffered for years, and is on meds and reasonably stable. I think many of us GAD sufferers here could relate!

It is a tricky one. My first bit of advice would be to try all you can to reassure him that your realtionship with this person has been and gone, was over a long time ago, and that (presumably?) his addiction was not YOUR addiction too, and that he has nothing to worry about. It just seems that your boyfriend's nerves are on edge, and like anxiety sufferers do, he is latching on to a thought, and running with it. Anxiety brings a lot of paranoia, negative thinking and fixation on a particular thought or worry. I appreciate how difficult this must be for your to deal with and address.

Reassurance is really all you can do here at the moment. It really is something that your boyfriend will have to deal with himself and try to rationalise, if he can. If he truly knows you and loves you, this is something that can be worked out and overcome, but a lot of the work will need to come from within him, with reassurance from you. That is about all you can do, I think.

I hope things settle for you.

[GADlover]

Thank you very much!

[debs71]

You're very welcome.

Anxiety is hard also on the sufferer's loved ones/nearest and dearest.

Hang in there!