So as mention briefly before Im off to another country at the end of the year, massive opportunity and very excited. For a 25 year old who's barely out of Derby this is big.

But then there's the anxious Reb.

'What if I don't live to see it?' 'What if something awful happens to someone I know?'

I don't worry about work or money or language barriers but health of myself and others. Sigh.

I'm doing better. I am. I've avoided these sites which are at times triggers. Still waiting for CBT.