Family feel like strangers?

[jonowalks]

Hi guys

I've been suffering from anxiety/depression for a few months chronically and for a good few years before this albeit at a lower level. As part of this latest 'episode' my DP/DR seems to be the most prevalent symptom. I don't get many panic attacks anymore (thank God!) and although I'm suffering a lot with dizziness lately my attention seems to be with the depersonalization. I'm getting married to my lovely other half in a couple of weeks but we've been through a really rough 12 months, long story short she had cancer nearly a year ago and although she kicked it's arse I've found myself getting more and more detached, even to the point of not really being able to connect with her or my son. Like sometimes I look at them and I they feel like strangers to me.

Now the question I suppose is it all to do with my detachment from myself as a person because I truly don't feel like 'me' at the moment and because of this am I missing the connection that the real 'me' has to the people I love dearest? I'd very much like to hear if anyone else has experienced anything like this.

Thanks.

[KLP]

Ive experienced this a few times and its nasty. Not a experience i'd wish on anyone. However even though when experiencing this you MUST NOT fear it. It feels like your having an outta body experience, looking in on yourself. Ride it... And kick anxieties arse.

It looks as though your personal experiences over the last year have hit you more than you anticipated. It WILL get better, consume yourself with something in your life cooking/DIY -anything that'll stop you focusing on your symptoms and they will gradually disappear. PROMISE. ��

[debs71]

I've also experienced this horrible sensation more than once....for me, DP/DR is the most frightening of all anxiety symptoms.

To me this sounds like high anxiety manifesting as DP/DR. Sometimes we don't have the full monty of anxiety symptoms, but just one or some. My suspicion is that the traumatic time you have had with your partner's illness - which is hard enough even without suffering from anxiety - is creating this detatched feeling due to the anxiety it has doubtless brought you. Any kind of stressful event or time can kick off stuff like DP/DR, or flare up what has been 'manageable' anxiety, into something more intense.

I totally agree with KLP. The best and really the ONLY way to tackle DP/DR is to go with it, live your life and carry out your daily routines as normal and try with all your might not to focus on that weird feeling you have. Staying around your nearest and dearest - and they still ARE your nearest and dearest, despite what your anxious mind is trying to trick you into thinking - is crucial and very important. It will help to keep you grounded in reality and what is truly familiar to you. Keeping busy is also important, as the brain struggles to focus on the weird feelings when it is occupied with other stuff - this will help bring down your anxiety and therefore bring down the DP/DR.

As KLP also said, please don't let this scare you. DP/DR is just the mind's way of trying to cushion you from the high anxiety it is feeling....this is what creates the spaced out and detached feelings from loved ones and what is around you. As soon as your anxiety is able to calm a bit, those feelings should dissipate.

Even after 13 years of anxiety, I still get moments of DP/DR, particularly when I am stressed or worried about something. It is unsettling and intimidating I know, but it WILL pass for you.

[jonowalks]

Thanks for the advice guys!

As I said I've had experience with DP before but never regarding other people. The irony is that when my wife was going through the diagnosis and the treatment I was just fine and supported her every single step of the way and I was strong but it seems that now everything is OK I seemed to have hit a bump in the road, most likely because I've had time to process it all and my brain has decided to switch off for a little bit and dare I say is trying to protect me 'just in case' something bad happens again. I've found myself obsessing about my health as well now but I think that's just a case of almost needing something else to worry about. I'm going to stick in there though and maybe soon when I look in the mirror I'll see the real me again.

[ana]

Depersonalisation is a predominant feeling for me too, unfortunately. It can be really unsettling because nothing feels real, and it really does feel like an out of body experience, as someone has mentioned above.
You're most likely right when you say that your wife's condition affected you after you've had the time to process what was going on. It's a delayed reaction to the stress you've experienced. Your mind is on overdrive, but you will feel like yourself again, I promise. I've been suffering with the same condition as you have for 15 years, and I'm still here

[Jenijar]

Hi ana,
When you say you've been suffering with this condition for 15 years, is that 15 years non-stop or 15 years off and on?

[HalfJack]

Yeah I struggle with this a lot x
Not constantly mind you and not so much in my relationship, but regarding my parents and my friends then yeah, 100%. Hate it. Try not to pay attention to it, like I know regardless of my perception that they're people I care about. Even if I feel at odds with that or like it's not me.

[ana]

15 years non-stop, I'm afraid. I've had good times and bad times, though. I had 5 years of feeling really really well when I could do things my anxiety wouldn't have normally allowed me to do. However, during the course of these 15 years, the anxiety has constantly been there: be it in mild, severe, or moderate form.

[Jenijar]

Hi Ana,
I'm sorry to hear you've suffered with anxiety so long. Has the DP been non-stop for you or do you have some non-DP times where you feel back to your normal self? I don't understand why some people recover from it after weeks/months and others have it for years :(

[jonowalks]

It's such a strange sensation and seems so alien.

I remember many years ago, probably 15 or more, I went on holiday and I'm a terrible flyer. It absolutely terrifies me and for the entire first week I couldn't process what was going on. It was like everything was a dream but it's only now with more experience that I know it was DR from the anxiety while flying. I think there's many instances that us sufferers of anxiety/depression/ocd/post traumatic stress only realise later on in life were the same things we go through now.

I think a lot of us know why we are the way we are but a lot of anxiety comes from knowing the problem but not being able to do anything about it. It's the most frustrating part by far.