I live some distance away from my close blood relatives, and the last Bank Holiday my husband and I travelled down to see them. After five plus hours in the car we arrived, and the atmosphere was less than welcoming to say the least. I was not even offered a cup of tea, and we unpacked the car while my sister complained that she had to put away what she was doing to greet me. It all went downhill after that. Luckily we had only arranged to stay for two days, and never was I so glad to get home!

It's been a couple of weeks now, and nobody from my family has contacted me - when I've called they haven't answered the phone. My mother is elderly and I don't want her to die without making it right, so I called up and spoke to my other sister. The gist of the conversation was that they didn't want me to come down again until I was on the "right" medication and had counselling for my "problem behaviour". I didn't lose my temper, acknowledged that I do have anxiety and depression and can behave badly, but that it runs in the family. As far as they are concerned it is all me, and I've made them unhappy all my life. I apologised for the trouble, wished them well, and said that I wouldn't be visiting any more (they have driven up here, to us, once in twelve years).

I feel like I have been let out of prison. The horrible internal voice that has always told me I'm a monster and mad, is gone (at least temporarily). Instead, I know I'm a flawed human being, who has good days and bad days, like most people.

I actually feel rather sorry for my family - they don't see that they have problems to deal with, and will always find someone or something else to blame - they are not on speaking terms with most of the family. As I am working through my problems, I have a chance of happiness. And my husband and I can spend the next Bank Holiday with his family, who don't seem to have a problem with me.