My health anxiety started following the birth of my son, similar story to many others on here, thoughts of leaving my son, who would look after him if something happened to me, would he be raised the way I want him to be raised etc. For 3 years following those thoughts, my anxiety was out of control, however at this point I didn't know it was anxiety. I believed I had some serious illness as I had all classic anxiety symptoms but no experience of anxiety.
Once I got that diagnosis, I threw myself into finding out all I could.about anxiety, I had CBT, went to stress management classes, was referred to the gym by my gp for support and read everything and anything worth reading about health anxiety. All this helped immensely and I began to live a relatively normal life, I was still anxious about a lot of things, but it was manageable using techniques I'd learnt.
Then like a fool, I was lured into that false sense of security, I stopped going to the gym, I started to obsess a little bit more on certain things, I'd get focused on something and isolate myself for days at a time convinced I was dying, then my stepdaughter's mother died, she died due to catching an infection that her body couldn't fight as she was alcohol dependent, but by that point the latter part of that sentence was totally ignored by my anxious brain that the only part being processed was people die of simple infections.
I'm lucky to live in an area of accessible mental health resources, round 2 of CBT refresher started and completed and life began to settle again.
August 2015 my employment began to get very stressful, I wasn't coping at work and I wasn't being listened to (I work in safeguarding so a dangerous place to be), my general anxiety and health anxiety were hugely on the rise. I got an insect bite that got infected and my reaction to this is embarrassing when looking back, but perfectly logical at the time. I also needed to have an operation in September 2015 and it was by this point that I'd reached my lowest point and the only way was up.
Round 3 of CBT, same therapist who discharged me with the best relapse plan - ring her direct if I feel any slide in my anxiety, she'll talk me through all that I already know and see me face to face if needed rather than go through the referral process, this has helped me lots, even though I've never called her, just knowing that option is there is great.
Acceptance - acceptance that everyone has anxieties, it's how we cope with anxiety that makes us different.
Control - we are in control of our thoughts, if we can stop thinking catastrophic thoughts, then the body won't react to the fear. Question every thought, tear it apart, use every ounce of energy you have to argue that thought with facts and evidence, there were days I felt that I'd spent the whole day arguing with myself, but eventually for me it became a natural process and doesn't drain me anymore.
Responsibility - I took responsibility for me, this has taken me years to do but I finally realised that no doctor, pill or therapist will make me better, they can help, they can advise and they can reassure but I need to take responsibility for myself. I hold the answers, they're my thoughts and feelings and I need to be able to manage and cope with them.
Stopping smoking - 6 weeks quit and never felt better, smoking made me so miserable and added to my anxieties, I would feel like a failure every day for lighting up a cigarette. I wouldn't exercise for fear of having a heart attack but would smoke 20 cigarettes a day, talk about backward logic. I'm now free of smoking, have so much more energy and I'm richer!
Exercise - I've joined the gym after accepting running wasn't for me, I don't exercise to an extreme but I'm challenging myself little by little and trying to counteract the not smoking weight gain.
Finally, the most important point, remember the reason my anxiety began, fear of leaving my son, I finally realised that I'd left him anyway, the anxiety had put a divide between us as I was never wholly there, my mind was focused elsewhere on thoughts of illness and dying. That's the reality, I was never really there, he'd already lost happy mam, she'd been replaced by sad, frightened mam who wanted to isolate herself due to the strange belief that would keep her safe.
I now realise that there are worse things than being given a terrible diagnosis and that's living the rest of my life in fear of that day that may or may not come. The reality is I could get ill, I could get a serious disease but if I do I want to fight with all my might, not accept and give up.
Thank you to all of you who supported me along the way, the kind words, the facts and the reassurance, they all played a part.
Xxx
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Great post TPo! 
