Hey everyone!
I'm new around these parts but definitely NOT new to anxiety, panic, or health anxiety. I have a special subset of intense fear of the doctor and hospital so that's awesome - health fear AND fear of getting it checked out and/or curing what ails me! Super fun (sense the sarcasm?).
I started with panic attacks at around 3 or 4 years of age and have had them off and on my entire life. It started with a fear of vomiting, then moved to hospitals, then a fear of heart issues, and now it's a whole host of things.
Anxiety runs in my family and my sister and I both have the health kind. Just this last week I've been sure I have pancreatitis, melanoma, and a whole host of other issues. Today I've had an itchy, rash-y face and felt like it may be hard for me to take a deep breath at a couple of periods throughout the day so currently I am freaking out with the what-ifs. "What if I really can't get a deep breath? Then I might have to go to the hospital or call an ambulance!" Then the breathing gets harder because obviously I'm freaking out about it. I can't stop thinking about my breathing which is just making things worse.
That right there are the types of thoughts that run rampant through my mind throughout the day. My life stressors have been increasingly tough lately (I own my own business and have been falling behind on filling orders because they keep piling up and I can only work so fast, my beloved grandma has been in and out of the hospital with strokes and a recently diagnosed heart condition and has been told she doesn't have long to live, my house is in foreclosure and we're probably going to file bankruptcy to hope to save it but we don't know if we will be approved to save it or not, and more).
I think because the things that are stressing me out have been increasing my anxiety has been equally increasing which just makes things worse. As soon as I start to feel better about one health issue another one suddenly crops up to take its place. The only real diagnosed conditions I have are migraine with aura and seasonal allergies so overall I seem to be pretty healthy, yet I can't stop freaking out about every little thing. It's good to know I'm not alone in this. I just wanted to introduce myself here because I'm going to be commenting and reading and making myself a part of the community.
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