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Thread: Meeting the Manager!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    78

    Meeting the Manager!

    Hi guys

    I'm feeling really anxious this morning, and for the previous 2 days. I have to have a meeting with my manager and Human Resources today at 14.00 and i'm really scared.

    My manager, i've never really found a problem with, but she has been quite nasty to other people apparently, so i'm told. I always try and take as i find rather than listen to rumours, but i'm finding it hard today.

    I've been off work for 6 months now, and yesterday got my SSP1 form through from payroll saying that they could no longer pay me SSP.

    I've not seen anyone from my workplace since November, and i haven't seen my manager since the day i got sick, i haven't even managed to answer her phone calls to me.

    I know i shouldn't be worried or anxious, I have union representation and a friend coming for moral support, but despite my deep breathing and distraction techniques i can feel the panic rising already.

    Anyone else had to go through these meetings? ANy advice welcome

    Freaky chick

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    I had to do it last year prior to returning to work. They were very supportive and my HR Manager told me that if it became too much I was welcome to stretch my legs and get some air. These people are (or should be ) trained in management of absence and they will have a good understanding of how it is for you. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
    __________________
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    Hi

    I am of sick at the moment too. I have had anxiety/panic for years, but i have mostly been able to work and i find that it has helped me. I started a new job in May last year which should of been perfect for me as its only a 2 min walk from my house and extra money, but its shift work something i have never done before and was finding the early mornings and late nights difficult. But i would of been fine, if not for the bullying which i have received from my boss and 2 work collegues. They made my life a misery to the extent that i was having panic all the time and making silly mistakes at work because of the stress i was under. In the end my CPN said that working there was only making me much more ill and that i was to go on the sick and hopefully in the mean time find another job. That has not been so easy to do though. I have Office skills but becasue i have been out of office work for about 2 years i'm finding it hard to get back into an office job.

    I have put in a formal complaint to the HR at my place of work, but the person has been rude to my daughter not to me as i would not talk to her. Though i put the complaint in at December, yesterday was the first day that i have heard anything back. I have been told to make an appointment with the HR with a idea to be getting me back to work. But i really do not want to go back to work at that place i feel you cannot change people and my life will be just as bad if i go back, my CPN feels that too and does not want me to go back. Trouble is i have so many debts mostly my making and i have to work and full-time at that.

    I did go to the Union but because i am saying i do not want to return to this place of work they said they cannot help me. I have phoned my council too as this is who i work for but they to say they cannot help me as i am not willing to return to work. Their does not seem to be any help for people that are bullied at work and do not wish to return to that place work. I have said that i do not mind going somewhere else in my local area but that seems like its not an option either.

    Anyway i am feeling just like you at the thought of this meeting. My daughter has said she will come with me also my CPN. But i really do not want to go back. At least hopefully with you its not because of bullying and your HR will be better than mine. You are right in giving people the benefit of the dought and hopefully your meeting will not be half as bad as you thought. Let us know how you get on.

    Take care
    pauline

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    I hve no practical advice to offer here as I haven't had experience with this but will a hug do (((FC))).

    Love Piglet
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    "Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
    "Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    78

    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    Thanks piglet

    A hug is good. I'm just off out the door, and panicking.

    It's silly, cos i've done the training to be the manager on the other end doing this meeting with someone sick, but my anxiety and my brain are not communicating.

    There is an element of bullying at my place of work, embedded in the culture - it's part of what got me here. But anyway - i'm going to bite the bullet. Not seen a person from work at all since November.

    Here goes nothing
    Freaky Chick.

  6. #6
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    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    Hope it goes really well. I was abullied too and decided to bail out before it made me more ill. Good luck and report back later!!
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  7. #7
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    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    Good luck - hope things went better than you expected.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    78

    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    Hi guys

    Thank you. I really needed the support.

    It was ok. I was a bit late, cos i was supposed to meet union rep in occupational health, but i had problems parking and i got there 1 minute after she left, thinking that i might have forgotten and gone straight to the appointment room. But occ health nurse walked me over - was nice. Then they changed the room on me, and despite being very panicked and anxious, eventually my breathing and talking to myself got me through enough to talk a bit.

    So they are going to try and jiffy up psych services, by asking the occ health Dr to phone my consultant (one of the benefits i guess of working in the NHS, they can attempt to jump the waiting lists to get their staff back to work!)

    They are going to look at whether or not i can drive a desk, instead of going back on the wards for a bit.

    I lost 3 weeks annual leave. cos they can't pay me for it - cos i effectively already got paid for it, with sick pay :-(

    My manager said i could go back to whichever site i wanted, so i can effectively start fresh with new people. She is going to empty my locker and get my stuff brought to me, cos there still a dirty uniform in it - it's only been festering in there 6 months, and i'm not sure i didn't leave sandwiches in their either - (Nice Job for someone!)

    And she was really quite nice. I've got another meeting in about 6 weeks, so hopefully i will have improved more, and be able to get a bit closer to going back to work.

    Scary, but productive. And i only cried 3 times - though next time, i must remember to take tissues!

    Love Freaky chick

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    187

    Re: Meeting the Manager!

    Hi

    Thanks for letting us know how you got on. You did so well you should be proud of yourself takes guts to even go to the meeting lol.

    It all sounds positive so thats something. I do not think my employers will be so nice as i'm sure they were hopeing i was never comeing back. Which is kinda what i was hopeing for but so far finding another job is much harder than i thought it would be.

    Take care
    Pauline

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