Hi there. It's been a while since I last posted my symptoms up here, and since then, I've developed more, and I feel it's slowly killing me :(
I've seen 4 different doctors at my GP this year and 3 hospital visits, all say it's just 'anxiety' but no matter what they say, I still don't believe them.
This year I've had all the following tests which have all come back normal: MRI scan of brain, full blood test, 2 eye exams and a photo taken of my retinas, ECG, several blood pressure checks, blood sugar check, hearing test.
Now I do suffer with EXTREME health anxiety and have done almost my entire life. I have kept a health diary of every day of my life since 2005 and spend way too long Googling my symptoms and self diagnosing.
I have been given antidepressant and antipsychotic medication, which I have tried to take once but taking just 1 tablet the side effects have been extreme, so I am too scared to take them. I'm having CBT therapy which is no help.
It all started when my Dad got diagnosed with cancer last November and died in March. It escalated my health anxiety to the extreme, to the point of thinking I am also dying.
Ok, so onto my latest symptoms:
I have a delusional mind. It started with having complete nervous breakdowns, but when they passed, nothing has been the same ever since. It's almost like I feel I have died. Everything feels eerie and surreal, everywhere I go nothing feels right, like I have been possessed by a demon, I'm convinced. Then some days I will literally just start freaking out shrieking and crying, wanting to kill myself but having to stop myself. I try and occupy my mind on my interests, but the feeling is there 24/7 no matter where I go or what I do. My brain feels damaged, or like I have early onset dementia. This delusional mindset started when my Dad died in March.
My latest symptom within the last week or so, is short term memory problems. I struggle to remember names, what I need to search on Google, what I need to add to a shopping list, etc.
I suffer with head pressure. Never any headaches I don't get them, just like my head is full of fluid and heavy. It makes me dizzy when I turn, and the head pressure I can feel is worse when I put my head up and down.
I often feel like I'm going to have a seizure, even though I don't know what a seizure feels like as I've never had one. Although it is my number one health worry since one of my Dogs died from it. My body just feels ill and like something's going to happen, I also have an odd sensation in my left leg and in my hands.
A singular small black spot forms into my vision about 2-3 times a day and quickly disappears.
My vision is noticeably dimmer. I have to have my phone and computer screen on full brightness now, and lights are just not as vibrant any more, nor is the sun.
I suffer from mild visual snow, where I see static in my vision 24/7. I've had this since 2009 though.
My hearing has deteriorated since March, the day after my Father's funeral, in fact. It has not been the same since even though my hearing test was perfect.
I have 24/7 tinnitus since the beginning of March, 15 days before my hearing loss started, although it has gotten a lot better.
I have a pain in my chest every time I sneeze, this started the same time my illness started and never had it before then.
My nipples are yellow and very slightly sore, been this way for 2 months.
My leg and arm muscles vibrate when I move them. Doctors have seen this and felt, but say it's just 'anxiety' but it has been this way since March. My leg muscles also twitch after coming back from walking my dogs.
Insomnia. This has only recently started and I only get around 4-5 hours sleep a night.
Other past symptoms I have had since this illness started but since disappeared are:
Neck stiffness and aching
Excessive need to urinate
Weakness in my left hand
Seeing a purkinje tree in my vision upon awakening
My vision completely wobbled with everything I looked at or read (this started the day after taking an antidepressant)
Unbearable hot blood sensation throughout my body like my blood was boiling up it was like this constant
Light sensitivity
Tingly/buzzing sensation in hands and cheeks for a couple of days
So yes, very long symptom list, yet doctors tell me there's nothing wrong with me only my mental health and severe health anxiety, due to what happened to my Dad.
I should also mention this all started on 10th December 2015 the same day I had an amalgam filling put in, but have since had it removed a month ago with all the barriers.
I should also point out I'm 24, female, I have Asperger's Syndrome and no other health condition bar asthma. Never smoked, drunk, done drugs, etc. And never felt any pain with this illness. I don't do anything bar stay at home neary every day, I am unable to work and I have no friends to meet up with, so my whole focus is always on myself and my health, even when I try and occupy my mind with interests.
Can anyone relate to my symptoms, should I really believe what the doctors are telling me? I'm so scared and feel like I'm dying :( My mind is completely delusional but taking medication makes me feel 1,000 times worse. Would be nice to hear if anyone else can relate to these symptoms!