Needing major reasurence please...

[Sugarplum001]

Hello,

I've been struggling with this for a good while now but recently it has gotten a whole lot worse and I'm really worried. I can't seem to accept that it's dp/Dr and it's really scaring me. It's there all the time and really effecting everything now. I do try to push myself to go out but it's very challenging as nothing feels right or familiar anymore. Looking for some help and reasurence that this is still Dp/Dr.
I constantly feel funny to be a person...I feel like I don't know who I am or others are around me and placed just feel so unfamiliar. I feel like I've completely forgotten myself/life. My whole body shape feels strange and I constantly question if this is what a person feels like. I feel like I've just been placed here 2 minutes ago and I'm trying to figure out who, where and what I am!! I feel out of my strange body but at the same time
Feel strange to be in and have a stange body. I question if I'm really here as I just feel so wrong and spaced out all the time. Sometimes I can feel like just a pair of eyes or in my head, then I can feel in my body and my head feels strange on my body. When I try do things it's like it's not me and I'm in a separate place. The list could go on and I'm just worried as I can't seem to be getting any let up from it...it's 24/7.
Thank you

[Just2kisses]

This is literally just a symptom of anxiety and it doesn't last forever
There's your reassurance x
Now are you on medication? are you exercising? are you avoiding time alone which can exacerbate the dp dr?

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you for your reply it's much appriciated.
I haven't managed to find a medication that agrees with me (maybe I don't give them time I don't know) but I find things like citalopram and fluxotine really escalate it. I'm on a group course for CFS/ME but I'm going round in circles trying to get sessions of anxiety. I've been trying to get out and walk but I know I should properly do more.
I try sit with everyone but I find it escalates as I start to panic that I'm forgetting who everyone is as they feel so unfamiliar. I do find myself making excuses for social events though as I just feel too funny to be a person. I know it's not a quick fix and I need to help myself I just keep getting too scared that the feelings feel worse etc
Thank you x

[Just2kisses]

Well you know that you feel worse before you feel better with ssri medication and that you have to stick with it
Don't throw yourself into intense social situations just pop round to a friends house for a nice calm chat
You really need to go for some exercise
I went walking with a friend who was dealing with depression when I was bad a few years ago
At first we were just talking about our symptoms but eventually we moved on and just chatted about normal things after a few weeks x
The one thing that I will categorically say is that it does get better and no matter how bad you feel you will drag yourself through it x

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you...I just made myself go to the shop for 20 mins
And I could have just cried. I walked around and I can literally feel myself in my body like I've never been a person before. My head feels so strange. Thank you for the reassurance it will get better...just what I needed as I'm struggling to see a way through at the moment. Xx

[Sugarplum001]

Hello, having a really bad time of it today! I feel so strange and it's really panicing and upsetting me. I feel so strange in my body, I feel like a complete stranger and feel really out of it and really not right. It literally feels like I've never been this person or been here before (obviously I know I have) but nothing feels right. I don't seem to be able to calm myself down and getting worried it's more than anxiety (which i know that's not helping matters). I even feel strange to have/be in a body and questioning everything as well as worrying I'm going to forget who I am or everyone is around me as it feels so unfamiliar. Xx

[Carrie8484]

Sugar plum, I've experienced what you have , exactly 10 years ago I also suffered with de realisation / de personalisation and I've never been so scared in my life. I was convinced I was 'going crazy' and couldn't make sense of anything . It took a few months to control my symptoms but believe me , it really was purely anxiety. At the time it certainly doesn't feel like it. Citalopram helped me hugely but I know different meds react with different people. I was offered counselling which I unfortunately didn't take up due to Falling behind with so much uni work but I would certainly take up therapy if it is offered to you. The only time I felt 'normal' was when I was asleep but I knew that wasn't a healthy way to deal with reality. Distraction, distraction, distraction is what I would recommend to get you through the day to day struggle . Good luck xx

[Jenijar]

Carrie, when you had DP/DR did you ever feel like you didn't exist and nothing was real? I keep thinking maybe I'm actually dead and my spirit is imagining everything. It's so frustrating because everything logically is telling me I must be alive, ie I have a reflection, people talk to me, I eat, I have a body - yet my mind keeps insisting I must be dead/don't exist.
Also, did it make everyday things such as washing your hair feel strange to you?
X

[Carrie8484]

Hey jenijar
With my DP/DR nothing felt real. So yes, you could easily think you are 'dead' and what you are living in now isn't real/conscious. It's very very scary. What I did was physically pinch myself a lot to try and 'ground' my DP feeling. Don't hurt yourself, but a quick sharp pinch sometimes helped, there are other techniques you can try too if you google them to help 'keep you in reality'. Yes, no activity felt normal to me. The worst thing was being around people, I felt they were miles away from me even though they were sat next to me. I hated having conversations, nothing felt like it was genuinely happening. I think part of DP/DR is like OCD, you are trapped in a cycle of constantly thinking about it with no escape. It nearly ruined my uni degree (I had to take months off and take re sits) but what I would do is look for constant distractions. Download a load of books on topics you can get into , practice meditation (use apps or you tube) keep fighting it cx

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you Carrie for the reassurance. I had the same this last night with the conversations where my family felt so unfamiliar and so far away and their voices didn't sound like theirs. I ended up having to leave the room feeling very out of my body and upset. You did well with you degree...it stopped me from finishing my 3rd year and over a year and half on I feel like I have gotten worse! I had a little time in between where it calmed a little bit the last couple of months have been pure torture. I can really feel myself in this strange body and now really feeling all the space around me (especially behind) as of I should be attached to something. Being upright feels weird and so does laying down and my body shape just feels so strange. Getting really worried as I feel dizzy, spaced out and really not here. Even feels a challenge to walk to another room! Is that still part of anxiety?
Thank you again for your reassurance it's much appriciated. Xx