Hi there.
It's been a while since I felt the need to use this site but I was hoping that I could get some opinions from some like minded people.
Basically long story short I have been through the worst times of my life with anxiety and depression and have come through the other side. I got married this year and have been with my partner for nearly 6 and a half years. He had 2 children from a previous marriage,who I've known since they were 2 and 3 and we get along very well. My partner has been through all of my bad times with me and been amazing. Getting married has always been a big hurdle for me because of my anxiety and took me a long time to get to the point of doing it bit I did and I managed the day pretty well I think!
Anyway I've always wanted a baby or at least always thought I did but now we have been talking about it and I've come off my meds to start trying I'm really scared and anxious to actually try! When we werent trying i had a 'scare' but turned out i wasnt and i was really upset.
I really struggle with change and the thought of it really terrifies me. I'm not the kind of person to look on the positives and now we are literally at the point where we could start trying and I'm freaking out!
This may sound silly but I love pugs think they are adorable and for years have wanted one. Then the other week I was given the opportunity to have one and I totally freaked out. I had a massive panic attack and in the end had to say no because I got so panicked.
Obviously I know a pug and a baby are very different to each other but it's knocked my confidence about what I really want. Do I just love the idea of a baby but not the reality? Am I as ready as I thought I was now I'm feeling anxious and suddenly unready?
I know i over think everything as I'm sure people here can relate to but I just wondered if anyone experienced the same feelings and had any advice they wouldn't mind sharing?
Thankyou in advance