can i raise myself above these symptoms

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well done, buster, you did it all on your own too, remember that! It takes a lot of courage to face these fears and at your early stage in recovery it will be harder.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it too! Staying so long is definitely a big bonus as we tend to be rushing around a lot trying to get through the day.

Now you know you can do it. So, you can do it again and maintain the contact you have lost with your dad because the anxiety has caused you to retreat.

I think the fact you enjoyed it and came back feeling better too is a massive bonus. It could easily have been an anxious event all the way as some things are but you felt the reward and that's very important.

I bet your dad was not only made happy by you making the effort to fight through your fears to see him but that you enjoyed it since he would want to see you happy.

[Elen]

Really well done Buster.

I always find that there is a fine line between expecting too much of ourselves and avoidance and finding the right balance is so hard.

Hopefully this visit will have given you a little bit of your confidence back.

I hope this makes sense, my head is all over the place but I didnt want to pass on by without giving you a huge pat on the back.

[busterrufus]

Thank you all. Best wishes, ruth

[pulisa]

My Dad had no real comprehension of mental health issues-he couldn't accept the fact that a very close work colleague committed suicide after his wife died-but he was always so keen to try to help me and was proud of me no matter what. Sometimes we are far too hard on ourselves and think others are judging us in a negative way whereas the opposite may be true...

[busterrufus]

I was so grateful for the help I received from members yesterday.

Pulisa, hopefully younger people are more aware of mental health problems these days, although I,m aware that a lot of ignorance and prejudice still remains. People found these things more difficult to discuss in our parents, time I think.


Although I did have some symptoms while at my dad,s , I coped well with them and don't think anyone noticed.

When I got home I felt slightly euphoric for a couple of hours before things got worse again . I,m not quite sure why this happened but I imagine it was something to do with temporary relief from stress hormones. I didn't expect the feeling to last really, but one always hopes it will. Symptoms are back with a vengeance now, but I have had a reminder of what it's like to feel"normal " again. I will try my best not to be too hard on myself.

I have read on here several times that symptoms can take a long time to go.
I read claire weekes books 30 years ago, but I,ve always had difficulty in " accepting and letting time pass". I suspect some people have success with this and others, not so much. I tend to want to be making active strategies to get myself better all the time and have very little patience with myself.

Thanks once again for helping me make my dad happy on his birthday.

[pulisa]

Accepting your symptoms is definitely for the best-getting angry and frustrated with yourself just creates more adrenaline which keeps the anxiety and symptoms going..

Our Dads had to go through a war so their concept of anxiety doesn't tally with ours. I can certainly understand that but the stiff upper lip doesn't work for everyone. I'm sure your Dad is desperate to help you get better and he will get upset because he can't magic up any instant answers to your distress. He obviously cares deeply and I'm sure he's so pleased that you have resumed contact. Don't let anxiety keep you both apart? You are giving anxiety power if you do. Well done again for yesterday- a real achievement despite everything!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Supporting each other is big part of why we are here, Ruth.

You dealt with the symptoms and I think that is massive because when anxiety is really bad, anything can be an issue and there is no letting up. This shows you have the ability to handle it now.

I think there are different reactions. We can be anxious when we return, we can feel relieved or we can feel like we have accomplished something. The latter is more the euphoric reaction because it's more than feeling relived it is over, we are happy about it. This means the reward system must have been triggered which will mean Dopamine being released to make you feel good about it.

On a few threads you have come across as really struggling and not getting any relief with what you are trying BUT in this thread you have found something that helps. I think capitalise on this and use it to get you moving forward with your recovery and the other things might start helping too.

So, perhaps aim your current goals more towards this sense of reward by tackling some things that will encourage you to feel like you did. Does that make sense?

[busterrufus]

Thanks terry, I felt rotten this morning but I asked my husband to drive me to a garden centre and stayed there 15 minutes .
I did it so I could feel that I accomplished something and was hoping it would make me feel better.
It backfired and I feel worse, my legs are burning and twitching and the scary thoughts won,t leave me alone.
My daughter came and she can,t understand why I,m like this after feeling better for a bit on Thurs when I last saw her. I don,t know either. I thought I would at least have a bit of symptom relief, because of dopamine release from accomplishing something. But really I didn't accomplish anything if I felt rubbish all the time I was doing it, did I?
I,m so confused from trying to take everything in and apply it, my mind just can,t seem to hold on the positive information, the horrible physical sensations override it.
I just want to feel a bit better again. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but has anyone experienced similar. Because all I can think about is my symptoms (selfish, but I don't know how to stop) I am convinced I am the only one like this.
I feel so scared because I did think I would start feeling a bit better and this might even feel than before. Sorry for rambling.
I know some people have told me I,m trying too hard, but it honestly feels like I, m just trying a bit, don't think I have the energy to try harder.

[pulisa]

I've certainly experienced all you are describing. The symptoms are very real. But they are not significant in terms of physical disease and you still believe they are. It's very early days for you in your recovery but your automatic reaction to the symptoms will be one of panic so the cycle goes on..

When you are tired and low it's very hard to treat the symptoms with disdain and boredom.

[busterrufus]

Did you really experience this pulisa? I think you are stronger than I am.
Can you remember what was most effective in overcoming your anxiety symptoms?

I am trying hard not to google. To be honest, looking at old posts on nmp is making me freak out, putting thoughts back in my head when I read other people,s fears. I.m lying on the bed trying to relax and not think about the pains, but its not working.

I have had therapy in the past but not found it very effective, the best one was mindfulness and I try and practice every day, even if it's just a 3 minute session. I find it hard to relax enough to allow myself to concentrate.

---------- Post added at 19:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:52 ----------

Feel unbelievable bad. how can I actually feel worse agin. I felt better for a few hours Thurs. Is this normal ithought I would gradually get better bitby bit not s go back.