What the hell!!

[ian6989]

Hi everyone I have suffered with dp for around 6 months now
But I have only encountered this symptom a couple of weeks ago. It feels as if I am not me anymore. As if I am just uncomfortable just being me. As if I am some one else in a way. The feeling is constant and it's so scary / upsetting as it feels like I am
Not me anymore. ( it is really hard to describe) just wondering if anyone can relate. Many thanks
Ian

[debs71]

I had this many years ago Ian, and have had it since, but in a much milder way, although it freaks me out every time.

I totally sympathise as it truly is a very scary symptom of high anxiety.

It is another facet of DP/DR I think. The same way that DP is the mind's way of removing us or cushioning us from the feelings of the anxiety, our minds also trick us into not feeling like ourselves anymore - that feeling you describe of being someone else.

I remember that oh so well. I recall looking in the mirror, drying my hair and bursting into tears with fear as I felt like I was looking at a total stranger. It was bizarre and frightening. Like I was in somebody else's body and yet I knew it was me, if that makes sense. It is a really hard thing to explain to others.

Please try not to let this overwhelm you. It is all part of the awful DP/DR. If your anxiety is able to come down a bit - distraction really does help a lot - this feeling will subside, I assure you.

[ian6989]

hi debs. i have suffered with the "not feeling here " which was awful however that has passed now and moved onto this new symptom and i have to say its the worst one yet. i really struggle to describe it. its like i just don't feel like me anymore, and I'm very uncomfortable just being me. i used to be uncomfortable with the feelings i have but now I'm just uncomfortable just being "me" if that makes sense. will it eventually pass debs as it is hard to distract yourself when u feel like your not you anymore :(

[debs71]

Yes, it will pass, I absolutely can assure you, Ian.

At the moment you won't be able to grasp that as the anxiety is too great and casts a load of doubts in our heads. I do know what you mean - it is hard to do other stuff and distract the mind when it is so bombarded with feeling awful, but any little thing helps, be it going out for a walk, going up the shops for even the smallest thing, playing an online game, anything is worth a try and really does help.

Feelings like this horrible one are best handled by trying not to give them power. By that I mean trying to keep busy and your mind elsewhere. It is the quiet times and sitting and dwelling on not feeling like yourself that will just exacerbate the sensation. The mind finds it hard to fuel that sensation if it is occupied elsewhere.

I know this sounds too much, or stupid - like it won't work at all, but it honestly does. When I had it, my Dad made me come downstairs from my room and watch a film with him. I had periodic moments of feeling that unreality and 'not me' sensation, and would have a cry, but in between it really did help me a lot, also to be around familiar people - family, friends - helps ground you and remind you of who you are.

[ian6989]

hi debs many thanks for the reply. when you had it debs was it constant? i mean it is constant with me and it is so so weird and scary i cant handle it :( its hard to take your mind off it because i don't feel like me and will always be me if that makes any sense :( I'm just sick of it all

[Keepitcool78]

Ugh I know the exact feeling you have. I've been there! And it comes and goes, some times it is so strong that and it makes me feel so uneasy and causes me to panic. Here's what helps me: the person who is getting very scared and uneasy about the feeling is the real YOU. You are just reacting to this strange sensation of nerves that are trying to confuse you. After all, as anxiety sufferers - our nerves are normally just out of control.

Try to let the feeling just be there. Try not to fight it and try to remind yourself that you are still there! The you who is getting so frustrated by this feeling!!!

Hope this helps!

[ian6989]

hi thank u very much for the reply. i will give it a try but it is there permanently :(

[debs71]

Ian, I know it is scary and daunting, but do try to keep busy if you can. When I had it, yep, I had it pretty constantly for days on end.

The reason it is constant and swamping you is because - as keepitcool78 brilliantly described - the YOU that knows this feeling is not normal (the real you) is fixated on the sensation of feeling alien, so this perpetuates the cycle.

The key is to BREAK IT, and that is done through a variety of methods which ALL involve lowering your anxiety levels. Are you receiving any treatment? 6 months of DP is a hell of a long time. It should not be suffered that long if your anxiety is being properly treated and dealt with. DP is usually during the peak time of anxiety in my experience, that being when you are either not being treated or are at the start of being treated, when anxiety can heighten, and then start to get better. If your DP has been going on that long, that is why you have now developed this facet of it.

I was exactly the same when I first started medication years ago. I started off with basic DP/DR - feeling like everything wasn't real around me, feeling like I was in a film, etc, but then this progressed on to the feeling you have - that I wasn't me, that I felt alien in my own body, that I was a stranger to myself. The further into meds I got, the better I eventually felt, but during that time I did everything I could to stay grounded in reality personally, which is where distraction comes in.

Please give it a try. While you are static and petrified by this feeling, it will linger on, but deviating your mind away from it helps squash it down.

[ian6989]

hi debs thanks for the reply.
yes i have it for 6 months. the feelings change though and my mind gets obsessed with it. i also suffer with ocd swell :(
i am on 400mg of quetiapine and 225 of venlafaxine (which i increased 18 days ago and still hoping it starts to do something for me at a higher dose)
i do try and keep myself busy but it is so difficult :( i just want to be better

---------- Post added at 02:09 ---------- Previous post was at 02:05 ----------

i do have cbt debs but it does not work for me. i don't think the venlafaxine is going to work for me as i have been on 75mg for 3 weeks. 150mg for 6 weeks and now been on 225 for 18 days but the doc said my anxiety is that bad it may take a bit of time for the 225 to kick in. i just want a second of relief from it. i do not get a seconds relief :(

[Sugarplum001]

I'm really struggling with this too. I feel like I don't know who I am and this isn't 'me'. Like I've never been here before and an imposter in this persons life! Is that kind of what you mean? I too have it constantly and am very scared...every time I wake up I feel like I don't know who I am or like I've just never been this person. It's so scaring and stopping me from doing anything now. I then realise I am this person and have been for 27 years and that starts freaking me out even more. I just don't feel right one bit. Xx