My story/diary so far....

[AnxiousSince1998]

So it's Friday today which marks the last day of my 3 week holiday here in Bali. Feeling ok considering I fly out at 11pm, just a little shakey, nauseous, churning tummy, and tired. I don't think I have had one single good nights rest while I've been here, waking around 3, 5/6/7am each morning, and just can't switch that brain of mine off.
I DID catch up with my friend yesterday at a water park, and then out for dinner with him last night, and although it was quite a hard thing to do, I pushed through and did it. I can't wait for the day when all this becomes second nature.
Hoping everyone else is doing ok, fingers crossed I'm ok at the airport/plane tonight.
Cheers, Jase.

[AnxiousSince1998]

So it's Monday now, tomorrow will be 11 weeks on Prozac. Have had 2 good nights rest, and have been able to sleep in, even after waking at the witching hours of 4/5/6am. Still tired and lethargic during the days tho.

My flight was a long, slow, draining process, the waiting around at the airport would have to have been the worst part.... Spent about an hour lying on the floor of the terminal, on my iPad and listening to music. I don't think I could've done it without my partner, poor thing, who could feel every bit of my anxiousness.... I slept a little on the plane, but was completely out of it once I got home, being scattered, tired, exhausted, on edge.... Slept a little during the day, which is rare for me these days.

I went for a drive to visit my folks yesterday, which was nice. A little edgy driving down the highway, but once again, I survived.... They are so warm and caring.

Still have little appetite, and overall have lost 12kg over the last couple of months, which is good, but plays on my mind there might be something else wrong, but I guess anything major would've shown up in the blood tests I had not too long ago....

Last night I spent half hour meditating before sleep, which is something I need to do now, according to the shaman I saw in Bali.... I will do my best to keep at it, as I can honestly say I did sleep better.

Will head over to my partners place this evening for some dinner, which will be nice.

Really not sure if I am starting to feel a little better, as I haven't really done too much the last couple of days, but Thursday will be a massive test because I have a shift for work starting at 5.30am, and still no real information as to what's involved....

Is there anyone else reading this around the 11 week mark on 20mg Prozac? Would love to hear how you are doing....

Cheers, Jase.

[AnxiousSince1998]

Well I've gone over the 12 week mark 2 days ago, and this morning I'm feeling horrible. Anxiety and shakiness up around an 8, and was very similar the last few days....

Since I last wrote, I have had a couple of good days at the start of the month, and have been pushing myself to get out into the public, going in and out of various shops, and up to the counter to purchase items, riding my bike around the park, and have pushed through at work, which has been a real effort. The other day I had to work in a room full of people (maybe 400 or so eating in a big ball room) and I was shaking so bad, and my breathing pattern was horrible.... But I did get through, although haven't had a good moment since.

I saw my psych yesterday, who told me that now after being on 20mg for 12 weeks, all these feelings I'm experiencing are not side effects from Prozac, but actually my anxiety. He said the dosage I am on is no benefit to me so I will start to increase by 10mg (30 total) for 2 weeks, then up to 40mg if I'm comfortable with that. He said there is no way I should still be experiencing Prozac side effects after 12 weeks, and that all my horrible symptoms are plain and simply my untreated anxiety.... WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? Does it sound like I'm not on the right dosage or do you think Prozac just isn't for me?

This morning I woke around 4.30am, experiencing the hot chest/arm rushes, shaking like I would if I was shivering cold, racing thoughts, nauseous, headachey, weakness, scared, depressed, on edge, so tired and heavy, weak legs, butterflies in my chest and tummy, tight chest, cramps in the left hand side of my rib cage, dizziness, feeling like something extremely bad is about to happen.... Horrible feelings that I'm just so sick and tired of having....

I just feel like laying in bed all day, but will try and get out for a ride to burn off some of this adrenaline, and hopefully feel a little better. My partner will be home soon, so will be nice to spend some time with her today.

Once again guys, someone to talk to here would be a huge help, is there anyone going through similar?

Cheers Jase.

[Mermaid16]

Hi Jase. I found this on the drugs.com website for fluoxetine. It definately should be working by now if it has been 12 weeks. I am not on the same drugs as you and this is my personal opinion only, but I would increase the dose first and see if it makes any difference before trying anything else. Although I think that you can cross taper quite easily to another drug while on fluoxetine (then you shouldn't get too much of the start up effects), but a psych would be the best to discuss this with. Maybe give a dose increase a shot and if you don't feel anything noticeable in a couple of weeks than try something else. I was on Sertraline for a long time (now coming off because it has stopped working), but I had no anxiety for a number of years, but the start up can be pretty bad, with increases in anxiety and insomnia etc. Hope you get some relief soon. Good on you for getting out there and not letting it make you a prisoner. Good luck. Tracy


Usual Adult Dose for Panic Disorder

Immediate-release oral formulations:
Initial dose: 10 mg orally once a day, increased after one week to 20 mg orally once a day
Maintenance dose: 20 to 60 mg orally per day
Maximum dose: 60 mg orally per day

[AnxiousSince1998]

Thanks for your reply Tracy,

Yes, I'm also thinking the increase is the right thing to do as I've come this far, what's a few more weeks. The side effects can't possibly be worse than the way I am feeling most days, well I hope not anyway....

My next psych appointment is in 6 weeks or so, but if things go pear shaped I can see him earlier....

What is your plan once you taper off your meds, will you try something else? Good luck with it all, and thank you again.

[Jeancarlo123]

hi , I have read your diary, I myself am at week 16 at 40mg. I can tell you it has worked but what has been bothering me for the past 4 weeks is my neck nerves are so tight that they keep giving me tension headaches which in turn flare up my anxiety. I also know anxiety is still there lurking because when I go to the supermarket I start feeling weird, nervous, shaky, breathless. I get paranoid thinking something is going to happen, even thought I perfectly know nothing will. So everyday is different, everyday is a struggle. Some days I have great morning and sucky afternoons, some days visa versa.....it's all just weird, not sure if I should stay on 40mg for longer, quit, up dose? Not sure what to do at this point, and yes im not sleeping at all, which is really upsetting, and i need to feel great for work as well.

[AnxiousSince1998]

Hey Jean, cheers for your reply.

So can you say you were feeling better, and just in the last 4 weeks you've gone backwards? Or have you been feeling off for the whole 16 weeks? When did you start the 40mg dosage up from 20mg?

My neck is constantly tight too, which I think is a big cause of my headaches and dizziness.... If I step back and just look at my how contort my body gets sometimes, it's no wonder I'm physically exhausted....

I had an OK shift at work last night, although I felt very anti social, on edge and breathless at times, I survived....

This morning I have doubled my dosage, and now on 40mg. I decided to skip the 2 weeks at 30mg, as my psych said it wouldn't make much difference, but in the end it would be my choice.

Right now I'm feeling headachey, tremors/shakes, small random anxious bursts, tight in the chest and stomach, dry tired eyes, lethargic, negative thoughts coming and going, scared and tired. I think now the anticipation anxiety has started as I'm watching/waiting for something to happen (without me consciously wanting to), so I need to try and keep myself distracted.... So hard.

Hopefully the increase won't be as bad as when I initially started nearly 13 weeks ago, and that I have made the right decision by increasing, and see some benefits from Prozac....

The shakes and internal tremors, along with headaches, lethargy, seeing my partner and family sad and helpless, and waking early in the mornings have been the worst part of the last few weeks. I just want nothing more than to get back on my feet again, be able to take my partner out for dinner, to feel good when I wake and motivated to live life to the fullest.... To not constantly think worst case scenarios, the what ifs, or live in social darkness....

I haven't lost hope yet, I know I will get better....

Sorry this has been a pretty negative post, just feeling down and flat, and writing stuff down helps a bit. Definitely looking forward to better days..

Jase

[Mermaid16]

Hi Jase!

I just noticed you are a fellow Aussie. I live in Brisbane. The pych wants to change me to Duloxotine. When my anxiety is at it's worst, I find it very hard to take pills, for example, I was prescribed Mirtazapine and it took me a week before I would take it because I was scared I would stop breathing in my sleep etc. So the psych really doesn't tell me too much in advance of what the plan is because I tend to worry about it before it even happens. I was on 100mg of Sertraline, I dropped, to 75 for 5 days and then 50mg. I have been on this dose now for two weeks. I didn't cope very well with the quick taper (anxiety through the rough, panic attacks, muscle twitching, irritable, massive mood swings, teary). So after the first drop to 75, I was prescribed 2mg of valium 3 times a day. I last the Psych on Tuesday and thought that I would have to drop again, but he said to keep everything the same for another week. So I have my next appointment on Friday. I think then he will introduce the Duloxotine at a low dose and lower the sertraline down further. I also take Mirtazapine at night. A bit of a cocktail of drugs at the moment I know. I have young children and am working full time, so not being functional isn't really a choice at the moment. Let me know how you get on at the higher dose. You appear to be very strong minded with your approach to dealing with the side effects. As I mentioned earlier, I think Fluoxetine is one of the better drugs to cross taper with, so if things don't improve, hopefully you can change onto something else without the start up effects. If you haven't seen any positive effects after upping after 2 weeks, I would make an earlier appointment with your psych. No point suffering an extra month for nothing. Good luck and let us know how it all goes. Tracy

[AnxiousSince1998]

Hey Tracy, yes im down in Melbourne, the most liveable city, how many years running now....

Good to see your slowly tapering off, dont rush it. Great to hear that your keeping in close contact with your doc, that should be reassuring for your own peace of mind that your being monitored properly and regularly.

It must be so hard going through all this, and juggling work and the kids, do you have someone helping you? I have trouble with small shift work, and only looking after myself....

You sound like a very brave, strong person. It saddens me how we have to battle through this terrible condition. Mental illness takes so much from so many people....

I will definitely keep posting with my progress, and please keep active with your story too, like I've said before, I think to know we are not alone is a big help, and to be actively seeing other similar stories, it just helps to reassure that and fuels a bit more hope and encouragement.

Thanks for the reply.

Take care and chat soon, Jase.

[flipp]

Hi Jade.
I am in Queensland too, I was on Prozac for 2months and felt like shit,it didn't agree with me.My Psych,agreed and put me on Avanza and feel good so far have a word with your Doc.

Karina .