Panicking about literally everything.

[JosieLouise]

I feel like I'm panicking about my entire life.
My life as a whole.
I'm only 23 but I feel like I'm running out of time.
I want to achieve things but I'm too scared of failure, so I'm stuck with a career moving at a snail's pace with very little fulfilment.
I feel like I'll never be independent from my parents.
I can't stand the idea of letting my family down.
I have no close friends who I can rely on. Really rely on.
I can't ever see myself being in a relationship.
At a time where I should be discovering myself and enjoying myself I'm just stuck here panicking about all the things I haven't done yet, all the things I want to do but don't have to courage to, every day I wake up so unhappy with how things are but completely incapable of changing it.
It's like I'm faced with a brick wall I can't get around.

[Sensitivesoul]

Hi there, didn't want to read and run. I'm the same age as you and I can see a lot of similarities with you in that I think worrying about my life and future has contributed to current anxiety problems I'm having.
However it does seem to me like you're too hard on yourself and maybe need to forgive yourself a bit. I always remind myself that age doesn't really mean anything, if anything time IS on your side. And even if it seems like people have their lives together or seem to have perfect lives, they don't and everyone is just coasting along. I've stopped comparing myself to others and that makes me feel so much better. I feel like for careers a lot of things simply come down to chance or connections, that's how I feel anyway, if things haven't worked out as you would have wanted yet don't fret about it, there's plenty of time to still find your niche/contentment. There are other issues you mentioned as well but I'll just say that for now, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in this at all You're having a low moment and everything just feels like too much right now. That's what I'm telling myself in my better moments, that this period WILL pass. Tell your family how you're feeling cause they probably don't see you as a burden or letting them down at all. I think around this age there's a lot of pressure to get ourselves 'together' and be proper adults. Well we are adults, we're just having tough times, like soo many people do lol. It's not our fault the economy/job market's ****ed anyhow. I hope this does help and made sense, currently not sleeping due to earlier anxiety so just wanted to help someone else out. In fact this is my first post on here so here goes. If you want to chat more I'm here x

[beatroon]

Hey there,

Just wanted to say that I can relate to how you're feeling, I spent my entire twenties panicking about who I was becoming, how to attain my goals and worrying that my life would be a failure.

Now I am on the other side of 30 (well on the other side of 35), I can honestly say that all that endless worrying was for nothing, and that I promise you, it will be OK. Honestly. The best thing you can do is take baby steps towards the things you dream of, don't worry about letting people down, and head forward the best you can. You may attain your goals, you may not, but you're going to have a lot of fun trying, and ultimately that's all anyone gets in life. It's true for every single one of my friends that we have all found our different paths. Some of us don't live in the city we hoped for and some of us aren't CEO of the entire world like we dreamt, but that's OK. We are reasonably happy and don't have that appalling level of existential dread we had in our twenties.

There is such a lot of worry in our culture about finding the perfect partner, the perfect path, and such a lot of pressure to constantly 'get things right'. It just isn't possible to do it all: the best we can hope for is to do the things that make us happy most of the time. I would aim for 60% instead of 100% and you might find everything seems more manageable.

So what does this look like in terms of a practical plan? If I could tell my 23-year-old self anything, it would be: 1) get careers counselling 2) don't worry about what my parents think 3) it will get better 4) set micro-goals so it doesn't seem so overwhelming 5) don't drink too much, don't be silly with money, don't let people walk all over you. I would consider seeing a therapist to talk about some of your worries if possible - I wish I had considered this route far earlier in my life.

I seem to have written you an essay, for which I apologise, but I really wanted to let you know that other people have been there and come through this, and so will you.

Best of luck to you!

Beatroon