I haven't brushed my teeth in three days

[Justinian]

I'm surviving on snow, but I don't have much left. Barely eaten in that time. I'm dehydrated. Lost weight. Looking gaunt. I can't face the lying, deceit and despair that is "pathological gambling disorder" (ICD-10 code F63.0). I can't cope. To help me, my relatives blocked gambling sites on my Wi-Fi. But I just use 4G on my smartphone. It's destroying me. There's no point saving money because I'll gamble it. I withdrew my salary every month to keep cash to prevent online gambling. But I made the mistake of keeping a single credit card 'for emergencies' and leaving cash in my bank account (with debit card) as I became complacent, thinking I had beaten my weakness. Then I blew £500+ on Friday, maxing out my credit card and emptying my bank account. The casino tricked me by emailing me out of the blue and saying I had "a balance in my account" with them. Obviously I didn't know my password as I'd forgotten all about that site (and all the others). But who could not resist asking for a password reset email to check what the balance was? It was only £1 and they must have put it there but they didn't say they did. It wasn't worth withdrawing it so I gambled it on roulette (my thing) and then my weakness took over and I deposited money and gambled that and so on and so on...

[Beckybecks]

They'll never leave you alone as long as they know they can catch you. These gambling sits are wicked.
Have you tried some sort of counselling?
I don't know much about gambling disorder but I assume it's much like other addictions and you'd need to take some steps to overcome it.

[Justinian]

They'll never leave you alone as long as they know they can catch you. These gambling sits are wicked.
Have you tried some sort of counselling?
I don't know much about gambling disorder but I assume it's much like other addictions and you'd need to take some steps to overcome it.

No, it's a personality disorder and so there's no cure. Treatment (or management) options are not that good with any personality disorder. When I was growing up "wicked" meant "really excellent"...

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's classified in with PD's but so is the hair pulling/skin picking disorder and that can be worked on. Yours is considered a Habit & Impulse Disorder so it's not in with the PD's themselves. So, perhaps there is help?

Do you mean you have a PD as well?

[pulisa]

Jeremy Kyle is your "expert" on gambling addiction....

[MyNameIsTerry]

Jeremy Kyle is your "expert" on gambling addiction....

I think Jeremy's poor "brother" has suffered from every ailment and addiction that exists.

[mike83]

Well if snow is some kind of narcotic flush that. Go brush your teeth, have something proper to eat and drink water. Go into your email and go to the bottom and unsubscribe from each gambling site email. Next time you get paid pay off your credit card debt or some of it. You might need to consider getting a new email address if they still keep emailing you. Go to GP and ask if they have any groups for addicts.

[Fishmanpa]

Out of curiosity and to clarify your post....

Are you saying you've been on a cocaine and gambling binge?

Positive thoughts

[WiredIncorrectly]

I grew up with a friend who had a gambling addiction. From the age of 16 he was in the bookies blowing every penny in the roulette machines. Bad times. He did snap out of it eventually after 6 years but only when he found something positive in life to focus on.

This meant changing everything about himself. His lifestyle had to change. It wasn't easy for him, and there were times when he slipped backwards but he was so determined to change that he battled through.

I'll be firm here. Sometimes we need a kick up the backside to get our head in gear.

It's no good your family putting the effort in if you're going to go behind their backs. I presume they are very upset and angry to see what you're doing to yourself. You're loved. You mean something to them whether they show it or not because they are taking the steps to help you. They can only help you so far, you have to grow a pair and put in the rest of the work.

They will only be there to help for so long before they will give up on you because you are causing them untold amounts of stress and concern mate.

You work? It's time to have your boss pay your wages to your family. Tell your boss what's going on, be straight. Let your family control your money whilst you go through the difficult stages. And snap that damn simcard. Do not even touch the Internet for a while.

You sound like you want to change. But your mindset is only half hearted. You won't change like that. You're already convinced that you have a personality disorder and that it can't be cured. That isn't a very positive mindset.

You can change. I've seen it happen. I've seen my friend go from rock bottom where he's literally stealing to gamble. He now owns a restaurant.

Find a new focus. Something you've always wanted to do but just never had time to do it. Doesn't matter what it is, now is the time to pursue it. Something that is going to keep you occupied whenever you have free time.

For my friend it was cooking. He always wanted to be a chef. He would have his wages go directly into his mothers account and she would dictate what he does and doesn't need. This allowed him to use those funds to pursue his hobby. His friends took the absolute piss out of him, and made him feel like a lesser man, but he wasn't bothered.

Eventually he got into college, studied hard, worked in a few restaurants until finally saving enough cash to open a place of his own.

Things could have been so different for him.

You will never beat the system. Ever. You will never get those loses back via gambling. That money has gone mate. Forever. Those times you do win are just a way for the gambling site to keep you playing.

I work in software. It's really not difficult to monitor a persons gambling habits by what they play and what they spend and to reward them every now and then to keep you playing. They're just numbers in a system.

You only got that email because their software system had seen you hadn't played in a while, so they sent you an email. Got you excited. Just to get you to click that button. Their tactics should be illegal, but it all falls under the realm of marketing.

It's just software. Developed by people like myself (well, many people actually). It's always programmed to be in their favour.

You probably know all of this already.

It's all good though because you can get out of this, you just need make those first steps. You can't live like this. I assume you're not eating properly because you mention you're gaunt. That combined with "snow" is going to cause some serious problems. Heart attack is one of the most serious. There's no coming back from that.

Can you really not see how much you are destroying yourself to want to sort this out?

I mean no malice in any of the above. I've had second hand experience with this, and I can see that you're at rock bottom. I'm just trying to help you see things in a different light and offer any advice possible.

I'll be here to chat all night.

---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:38 ----------

Ps. Watch episode 17 of The Twilight Zone. It's called "The Fever". Try to Google/YouTube it. Great episode and very related to this situation. Isn't it crazy that this stuff was going on back then too.

[mezzaninedoor]

Someone in my family suffers from Gambling addiction and she is female, she found when whe went along to GA to try and kick this habit and being there she felt dirty and it didnt help her. She has tried Talking Therapy and Hypnosis but had no joy.

I think Gambling is another really tough addiction to tackle and as with anything we find people can't just flick a switch to turn it off. It is however worth trying to tackle it as its obviously completely overwhelming if it eats up all your resources.

What amazes me is that it has replaced Smoking as the number 1 advertising revenue in the UK and in many ways its just as soul destroying as Smoking and Alchohol.