Mirtazapine and mental blocks

[LittleMissAlone]

Hells bells Pulisa. I've done something I said I wouldn't do because there's no point, I've just rung him and left a message and asked him to ring, left my number. I said I'm not expecting him to ring and I'm not going to bother again.

You're disappointed! I'm disappointed, I've chickened out. But it's been 4 weeks now. No idea of his comings and goings. I left 2 messages in the first week. This message sounded less robotic and shouty than those at least. I've not planned what I'm going to say, it'd be even more weird and desperate if I'd been reading it, in my warped mind at least.

So it's wait for the phone call time! When I say he won't ring, I think he'll want to, but he's got a block himself regarding me. Hey, I'm still on the theme of mental blocks!

[pulisa]

Well the ball is in his court now and the waiting won't be easy but at least you will know where you stand..

Of course he could be away but you've left your message so he will hear it in due course. I really hope you don't have to wait too long for a response

[LittleMissAlone]

Yes, you never know, he might have grown up (nearly 40!).

[pulisa]

Dare I ask...any news?

[LittleMissAlone]

No! I last rang Tuesday last week and left a message, sounding a bit more cheerful and sane than before, asking him to ring and leaving my number. I said I wasn't expecting him to ring and that I wasn't going to ring again. He's really into sport and may have gone to Rio, I guess, but the phoning started before then so I don't know.

I've hardly given it any thought, which is good, but I know it'll resurface and I'll still have the very basic questions there unanswered.

Oh well, time will tell still!

[pulisa]

That's a very sensible attitude to take. You may get a call when you're least expecting it.

[LittleMissAlone]

Yes. But the main thing is I know I've got the courage to ring him now if I think I really need 'closure' (horrible Americanism), even though I said in the phone message I wouldn't. If he's away someone else might pick up the messages (three of them) and of course they wouldn't understand the significance like he would. I can leave it at least through September anyway. I'm sure it's aiding my recovery which is the whole point.

[pulisa]

You made the right decision and it's obviously given you strength and added confidence in your recovery.It's got to have been a good move all round!

[LittleMissAlone]

Well, there're a lot of things we think are impossible, but I figured this isn't one of them (he's not dead or, I think, married) so we cant be intimidated if it's something that needs understanding.