This time last year I was starting my downward spiral into obsessive, catastrophic thoughts about my health.
An insect bite was MRSA, I refused a minor op due to my anxiety and irrational thoughts (I had it the next day after I walked out of hospital sobbing uncontrollably), in my mind I believed I had the symptoms of heart attack on numerous occasions, I also convinced myself I had throat cancer to the point my dentist spent a lot of time and effort with me telling me I don't have the symptoms.
Those days were unbearable, I was existing, going through the motions, living my life in fear of death every waking moment.
I eventually started therapy in approx October time, third round of CBT and by far the most successful.
Wish I could explain it to you all, or tell you the secret but I can't. All I know is I finally beat it, haven't been to Dr's since routine appt in April, previously was there at least twice a week, I haven't smoked for 14 weeks, I walk at least 3 mile a day (previously did no exercise in case I had a heart attack!), I smile, i laugh and appreciate life again.
For all of yous that are still fighting this, keep fighting. Never give up, put together little footsteps and in time you'll have a giant leap. I've had tests along the way, recently at work we've had an inspection by our governing body, it doesn't get any more stressful but I coped, I managed, I didn't revert to any previous negative ways and I didn't smoke a single cigarette through the process.
I'm back where I belong, with my family and friends, the whole me.
Wishing you all success in your journey.
Xxx
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