First night of Mirtazapine - I survived

[Mermaid16]

Day 6. Well yesterday I must have just needed a catch up lazy day. I have had much more energy today. Did 4km on the treadmill and not feeling sleepy. Sometimes feel like a bit of a zombie, like I'm not in my body, but I'm definately more like I used to be. I still think the same, it is such a strange experience. I am functional on the Mirt, whereas without it I wasn't doing so good. I will keep going. It is only early days. Shaz your dogs sound beautiful. It's good they keep you on your toes and get you out of the house. The fresh and the distraction will be good for you. Hope your anxiety is a little more manageable at the moment. How have you been feeling? Is that a pic of one of your doggies on your forums pic? Take care. X

[Mermaid16]

Day 7. Feeling okay today. Felt like it took a long time to fall asleep last night. I slept well though. Was up early for work at 5.45. Felt a bit like my thoughts were a bit obsessive. It is kind of weird, like when I have a lot of anxiety, I am very conscious of every thought I think. Like I focus on them and their not unconscious, but conscious thoughts. I was okay for the rest of the day. I'm tired though. I feel like my hands have been a bit shaky (kind of like tremors) but they are only the tiniest bit visible and not really there. I'm a little afraid that I will have some type of withdrawal because I went from 5mg straight down to 2mg. But the psych didn't think this would happen. Who knows. It may be from feeling a little anxious or because of the tablets I'm on. Anyhow, tomorrow is another day and we will see how we go then.

[Shazamataz]

Hey Mermaid, how long were you on 5mg diazepam? You may be having a bit of withdrawal but the doctor should know what they are doing. And if the Mirt helps you sleep then that's a good thing. Sounds like it's not giving you too much trouble? How's the appetite?

Yep, my dogs are beautiful. That's my girl Lola in the photo. Zico is a Golden retriever so you know what they look like. I have been told he is a particularly good-looking one, but I can't take any credit for that!

They get me out of the house every day, often twice so that's a good thing overall, though some days I don't much feel like walking them. I just grit my teeth and get on with it. We are lucky here as there are heaps of places nearby where they can have a good run/swim off lead. Plus I get some fresh air and exercise too.

I'm rough again today but I had the dentist this afternoon and I expect I was anxious about that and feeling a bit strange afterwards with the injection and all that. This evening things hurt a bit but I expect that will settle soon. Best to save my teeth while I still have some!

[Mermaid16]

Hi Shaz. I have been on for about a month now but only here and there. When I first presented to the hospital on the 12th of July with bad panic attacks, they thought I was experiencing alcohol withdrawal. My ex husband had an affair about 10 years ago when my kids where quite small. I started having one or two drinks a night after they went to bed to try and relax and fall to sleep. This continued for the next 10 years, it slowly increased to 4 or 5 a night. I decided that I had, had enough this year and wanted to try and lose some weight and stop drinking, so I cut down over a few weeks. Anyhow, I ended up doing a five day valium taper, it started at 5mg three times a day, down to nothing on the 5th day. That all went fine, then about a week later (not taking any valium since the 5th day), massive panic attack and anxiety through the roof). So made an appointment to see the psych (during the waiting period between this there was no valium (probably for about 5 days). Then he started me on 5mg of valium for one week, then this dropped down to 2mg since then (probably about a week) as well as adding in the Mirt. So as you can see it is a bit all over the shop. I did ask him when I was there last (which was two days after cutting from 5mg to 2mg) if he thought there would be any withdrawals from the valium, cutting down so quick. His response was 'if you don't have any now, you won't have them'. I know that valium has a really long half life though and can take 200 hours or something to clear your system. Anyhow, last night I felt my heart kind of like miss a beat and then had a brain zap. This happened three times in about 10mins and then one this morning. Both times I was inbetween the wake/sleep zone, not really fully in either. So this has scared me a little, even though I know they are harmless. I have a feeling it is related to the valium, I have also had an increase in anxiety yesterday and today. Not through the roof, but noticeable. Lola is soooo beautiful. She looks so alert in your pic. I love golden retrievers also, they are so placid (usually). How did you go last night after the dentist. Did things settle in a little? I don't really like dentists, but as you say, we need to look after our teeth while we still have them. Talk soon. Tracy x

[Mermaid16]

Day 10. Had a really crappy day yesterday. Had to drive somewhere for work by myself and panicked on way there, then when I got there. I went and sat on the toilet for a few minutes and did some deep breathing and calm down. Which I did. Was fine on the way home because I knew I was on my way back to work (which is a safe place and with safe people) for me. Felt anxious all day and was in tears a few times. Kind of felt just over it by the time I got home. Kind of like being depressed, but I don't think I was, I was just frustrated, angry and tired. Just when it seems to get better, it turns to shit again. It took me ages to fall asleep (about two hours) after taking the Mirt, usually I'm out within half an hour. I think because I had the brain zaps the night before I was petrified it would happen again. Anyhow, there were no brain zaps last night. But I woke up at 1.30am (the first time I have woken during the night) and felt like I didn't go back to sleep until I got up for work at 5.30am. Although I think I probably did, can't imagine just laying there for 4hours awake and not getting up. Anyhow needless to say, I am tired and still anxious. I don't have another psych appointment for another week and don't know if I should go and see him about the broken sleep or just give it another week. I have only been taking it for a week. I will see how the rest of the day goes and then make an appointment if it is still bad anxiety during the day. I have valium but really don't want to take them.