High anxiety regarding cat

[jestertramp]

Hey guys

I'm new to the forums but sadly not new to anxiety & OCD. Was diagnosed around 6 years ago, although my OCD has been going on for 9 years.

Specifically, my problem revolves around my cat. Stupid, I know.

I'll try to make a long story short -

Due to a series of health issues that have been with me since I was 12, I still live at home with my parents and my sister. We don't live directly on a busy main road but we are a very short walk from one. Over the last 10 years, we have lost 3 cats due to them being hit by cars (the 4th cat just disappeared, we never did find out what happened to him).

We have a 12 year old female cat who's been with us since she was a kitten. She's only ever lived at this property so she knows the area very well and is very keen on being outside.

I have become extremely attached to her over the years. As she has gotten older, she's as attached to me as I am to her. She cries only for me, she'll only let me feed her, she follows me everywhere I go. I have to say that I don't mind at all - I adore her. She's not the problem. My brain is the problem. And that sodding road!

I know her routine. I know when she wakes up in the morning, when she eats, what she eats, when she goes outside....and her going outside is the problem.

I know when she's been outside for a little too long. I start to panic when she doesn't come home despite my calling her and rattling biscuits. I get especially wound up if the last time I saw her was walking in the direction of that blasted road we lost her brothers to. I absolutely dread a knock at the door asking 'do you have a cat because there's one laying by the roadside...' I cannot describe the fear and panic that goes through me. I cannot relax until I know where she is and that she's alive.

It's becoming such a problem that I've put almost my entire life on hold. I push back my work until I know she's safe. I can't enjoy a TV show for half an hour unless I know if she's alive & safe! I put off going out with friends & family on days out just in case something happens to her when I'm not there, as I'd be leaving her in the care of others.

She herself gets anxious because she's very attached to me so when I'm away for a few hours, so she wouldn't just curl up, go to sleep and wait for me to come home. She'd instead drive my family crazy crying for me, be in & out of the house and just plain restless until I got home.

I never used to be like this. Back in 2006 & 2007, I was able to stay with my boyfriend for days on end without worrying about her. I went to America for 10 days and never thought about it! This has been gradually happening within the last 5-6 years and it's getting to the point where I would rather stay in and make sure she's safe than go out for a drink or see a movie.

I'm so paranoid about something happening to her when I'm not home because my family just don't keep tabs on her the way I do. Their thinking is 'She's a cat. They go out. They come back. They go out again. Cats can be missing for days sometimes...'

At least when I'm home, I can control if/when she goes out. I know how long she's out for. And if she were to go missing for days, I would be tearing my hair out because it would be totally out of character for MY cat to do that. So I know something would be wrong. But that's the mentality of the people I live with - they do not care as much as I do. And I can't stand it.

To me, the worrying and fussing is worth it because she's still alive at the end of the day. I just don't like the way this is controlling me to the point where I don't leave the house 'just in case' something bad happens.

And it only takes once to be hit by a car. And then she's dead.

The cat herself isn't the problem. I feel guilty even feeling like this. It would break my heart if something were to happen to her. It's me! It's my brain!

Sorry....I know this was long post!

[.Poppy.]

I know in the UK you tend to be more accepting of cats being allowed outdoors (in the US, anyone serious about their cats keeps them inside unless on a leash or in a safe enclosure).

Since this is bothering you so much, would something like that be possible? Would your family understand? Indoor-only cats live perfectly happy lives, and if you have a yard you could build a little outdoor enclosure for her pretty cheaply.

To me, it's the same as with a dog...I'm expected to keep my dog on my property so why not a cat? But it's a different culture I suppose.

I get paranoid with cats too. I grew up on a farm with farm cats and have lost several over the years for various reasons. I'm just too afraid not to keep my cat inside at this point.

[Buster70]

Hi , firstly it's not stupid and not just a cat as some would say they are part of the family , I've recently lost my dog and I was devastated at losing a friend I'd had for 11 plus years , we used to have cats before dogs infact our last cat tought the pup to go out for pee through the cat flap before he got to big , we lost a couple to the roads and it was hard but you can't watch her all the time and letting them run free is the best life for them not stuck indoors , trouble is with us we only see the worst case scenario, she may live to twenty and not go out of the garden when she gets older , just take care of her the best you can that's all we can do .

[KeeKee]

Aww I have 3 cats so can completely understand how you feel. Ever since our third cat was born (Oct '12) our cats have been indoors. Whenever we leave the house I check that they can't get outside etc as my biggest fear is one being ran over (and as mean as it sounds this applies more to our youngest cat, I witnessed her being born and she really is my baby). I adore my cats more than some people (usually those without pets) can ever imagine.

[Fishmanpa]

We have an exotic cat and he doesn't leave the house on his own. He's harness trained and we'll take him out on a leash to chill but other than that, he has windows to look out of (cat TV).

The difficulty is that your cat is used to going out and would not be happy about restrictions. A small outdoor enclosure would solve the problem

Positive thoughts

[shutterbugsmile]

I know this is an old post but I'd love to hear from you OP to know how this resolved. I'm dealing with a very similar thing right now and starting to drive my husband mad. Thank you so much in advance ❤️

[Darksky]

I doubt after all this time the OP is still on here, particularly after only posting on 3 occasions.

However, I do understand the sentiment in these posts. I lost my cat 2 years ago and I am still not over the loss of him. I can’t bring myself to get another one. Still, if ever I did, there’s no way it would be going out. Have you heard of Cattios? I think that’s how you spell it. They are large enclosures built from wood and wire attached to the house, accessed by a door or window. Climbing frames, trees and all sorts of obstacles can be put it. Literally your imagination can go wild. You can build your own or there are companies that make and fit them.

Google it….

[fishman65]

I was reading through these posts and thought 'wow Buster's back'.

When I was a kid our cats ran free. But then it was the 70s and 80s, nowhere near as many cars on the road and we were fairly rural anyway. But now? Indoor pets I think.