Worried About money

[KeeKee]

So today my partner and I have separated. It has been a long time coming but I'm still devastated.

When ringing tax credits to change our circumstances they have ceased my claim and I've got to reapply. I'm shocked as my circumstances have changed many times in the 9 years I've been claiming and I've never had to reclaim.

The claim form can take upto 2 weeks to get to me then I was told that actual claim can take a further 3. I could potentially have no tax credits for 5 weeks. My only other source of income is £20.70 child benefit.

I will be applying for ESA as I'm unable to work, but that in itself can take upto 5 weeks I believe. I have no idea what to do, I owe a relative money that I can't afford to pay back so there's no way I could borrow more. I owe the social over £800 so I don't want to get a crisis loan or anything. I feel so sick. My partner (or ex partner) is still paying our monthly bills this week, so I only need to pay for food, toiletries etc but it's the Summer holidays and I can't just spend everyday locked up indoors. I have social anxiety and 'going for a walk' is nigh on impossible. I can't even sit in my own garden as we only have a very short fence and when neighbours are out i feel like I could puke.

I'm devastated and really scared for the next few weeks.o have nothing to sell, I don't really own anything. I've been suffering with quite severe depression this past year and I feel like this will be the final straw.

I'm also concerned that I won't qualify for ESA long term. I've read you've got to be pretty much housebound to get it due to depression, I'm not housebound. So I'm scared that once I get called for the ATOS medical - and fail it, I'll have to live off £83 a week again, but this time it will also include gas, electric etc.

[KatiePink]

So today my partner and I have separated. It has been a long time coming but I'm still devastated.

When ringing tax credits to change our circumstances they have ceased my claim and I've got to reapply. I'm shocked as my circumstances have changed many times in the 9 years I've been claiming and I've never had to reclaim.

The claim form can take upto 2 weeks to get to me then I was told that actual claim can take a further 3. I could potentially have no tax credits for 5 weeks. My only other source of income is £20.70 child benefit.

I will be applying for ESA as I'm unable to work, but that in itself can take upto 5 weeks I believe. I have no idea what to do, I owe a relative money that I can't afford to pay back so there's no way I could borrow more. I owe the social over £800 so I don't want to get a crisis loan or anything. I feel so sick. My partner (or ex partner) is still paying our monthly bills this week, so I only need to pay for food, toiletries etc but it's the Summer holidays and I can't just spend everyday locked up indoors. I have social anxiety and 'going for a walk' is nigh on impossible. I can't even sit in my own garden as we only have a very short fence and when neighbours are out i feel like I could puke.

I'm devastated and really scared for the next few weeks.o have nothing to sell, I don't really own anything. I've been suffering with quite severe depression this past year and I feel like this will be the final straw.

I'm also concerned that I won't qualify for ESA long term. I've read you've got to be pretty much housebound to get it due to depression, I'm not housebound. So I'm scared that once I get called for the ATOS medical - and fail it, I'll have to live off £83 a week again, but this time it will also include gas, electric etc.

Hi KeeKee,

Is there no way to get an advance in payment? If you explain your situation. I know they can do that with universal credit payments.
Also will your partner be paying child support? X

[dally]

Contact your local mental health team or ask for a referral from your GP.
Most mental health teams have a Welfare rights officer working with them.
If not Citizens advice do.
You will be entitled to housing benefit, council tax rebate, and assessment rate ESA 73.10 per week
Contact DWP by phone and explain your situation and ask them if there is any financial help you can have meantime.
When you get your ESA assessment. Any report by a 'medical professional' is regarded as 'evidence' of your illness/inability to work, rather than just you telling them. Get your illness documented.

[KeeKee]

Hi KeeKee,

Is there no way to get an advance in payment? If you explain your situation. I know they can do that with universal credit payments.
Also will your partner be paying child support? X

Hi again KatiePink thanks for responding. I'm not sure about that. I did mention on the phone that I will be living on only £20 a week until my claim was sorted and he told me to just ring citizens advice. I've been in touch with citizens advice recently though due to a debt I have and they told me my household is getting less than the threshold and I should contact hmrc for advice, but when I said that to the man yesterday he just said to apply for tax credits online, he was very abrupt.

My partner and I have come to an agreement and he will be buying the cat food for me. It costs in excess of £50 a month so I think that's fair enough. He only works part time too.

---------- Post added at 17:52 ---------- Previous post was at 17:33 ----------

Contact your local mental health team or ask for a referral from your GP.
Most mental health teams have a Welfare rights officer working with them.
If not Citizens advice do.
You will be entitled to housing benefit, council tax rebate, and assessment rate ESA 73.10 per week
Contact DWP by phone and explain your situation and ask them if there is any financial help you can have meantime.
When you get your ESA assessment. Any report by a 'medical professional' is regarded as 'evidence' of your illness/inability to work, rather than just you telling them. Get your illness documented.

Thank you for responding. Is dwp the same as hmrc? If so I rang yesterday and he just get saying "Apply online". He kept interrupting me all the time when I was speaking too so I couldn't get a word in.
I already do get full housing benefit and council tax rebate as my partner was only part time anyway. I know I am definitely entitled to child tax credits too it's just waiting for them to come through. I'm so upset I've had to cancel and reclaim, if I had known I would have stocked up on cheap food etc this week and next and then called them as you have 4 weeks to notify them of a change.

I can't even get to the doctors yet as they're fully booked.

Thank you both for taking the time to reply to me. If worst comes to worst I do have relatives I can borrow from, I just despise owing money out.

I know I'll manage somehow but it's so depressing. I won't be able to go anywhere and sitting about the house absolutely grates on me and my neck hurts as our settee is really old and horrible. I'm so angry I'm not able to work. I just see a future of money constantly being tight. I have hardly any clothes or anything. Once I'm all sorted I'll manage as I have done so for a while now on low income, but when I was working I could buy nice clothes, household items, i could buy food that wasn't on special offer etc.

I absolutely detest that I feel the way I do, I've been called 'lazy' for not working, I'd absolutely love to be able to get a job and lead a normal life.

Sorry for my rant. Had a crappy night last night

[KatiePink]

Only just saw this KeeKee, hope you've managed to get something sorted. I can relate to you 100% having money problems is terrible and can cause problems In itself, you've got to have lived it to know how bad it makes you feel and how its so very hard to get out of. I really understand

I know it's very cliche and easier said than done but do atleast try and think of the positives you have even if it seems there are none at times there will be. Think of the things you do have like shelter and a bed people that love you ect

Never be ashamed to ask for help either or to admit you're struggling, there is help out there but it's not easy to come by. You're not lazy.

[dally]

DWP is not the same as hmrc

Don't beat yourself up about not working at the moment. Hopefully you will be able to work again in the future. One day at a time. 4-6 weeks will seem like an eternity without proper funding, but you've already said, you have family you can borrow from meantime. Also do you have access to any food charity stores?
I do appreciate on top of it all you will be dealing with the emotional split from your partner too. Time will help.

[KeeKee]

Thank you both for responding. I've actually managed to get an earlier appointment with my GP (well it's not the one I usually go to so feel a bit sick but better than waiting weeks) so I'll get a sick note on Tuesday and I was told by ESA if I'm eligible, it should hopefully be sorted by 6th September.

KatiePink I know what you mean about shelter and bedding etc and I do realise even though we struggle, we are still much better off than many others. I know I have people who love me etc but I don't feel loved if that makes sense. I feel like I can't point out any positives in my life this is where I struggled with therapy to the point he made me write stuff down that I didn't see as positives so it felt like I was faking it if that makes sense. Obviously I have my family, food, shelter and 3 cats whom I adore, but I have one thing that I've never told anybody and it can overtake even the most positive things in the world. Until that goes away I'll always feel this negative hold on me. It makes every single day difficult. Then there is my low self esteem which makes things worse. I hate the way I look and even though there are people out there who are disfigured and the likes who would probably love to look like me i still feel like crap. My looks have changed so much due to stress or depression and leaving the house makes me feel ill.

Ah I see I'm not sure how I'd contact DWP then. I did call my local authority and was advised they could offer food vouchers but only if ESA refuse to give me an advanced payment of ESA and I'd need to write down who refused to and why. I didn't feel upto this on Friday so may do it tomorrow. £20 will probably do food though to he honest, pasta is cheap as anything, I'll get tinned beans and have beans on toast, i already have lots if teabags and sweeteners I'll make sure I have milk and bread, we don't eat cereal anyway so 4 pints should do a full week. It just means not eating my regular stuff for a few weeks and I'm sure I'll despise pasta by then haha. Also I'll be stuck in the house with my daughter during school holidays which is depressing as anything. She goes back in 2.5 weeks and I literally haven't taken her anywhere yet. Not even out for a meal. She's already told me her friends keep asking why she never goes on holiday etc, imagine when she goes back and tells people she has literally been nowhere. I can't even sit in the garden as I feel too uncomfortable when neighbours are also out.

Sorry for ranting yet again. Feel like all I do is think negatively but given how much my life and body has changed these last few years I just feel like absolute hell.

[KatiePink]

Thank you both for responding. I've actually managed to get an earlier appointment with my GP (well it's not the one I usually go to so feel a bit sick but better than waiting weeks) so I'll get a sick note on Tuesday and I was told by ESA if I'm eligible, it should hopefully be sorted by 6th September.

KatiePink I know what you mean about shelter and bedding etc and I do realise even though we struggle, we are still much better off than many others. I know I have people who love me etc but I don't feel loved if that makes sense. I feel like I can't point out any positives in my life this is where I struggled with therapy to the point he made me write stuff down that I didn't see as positives so it felt like I was faking it if that makes sense. Obviously I have my family, food, shelter and 3 cats whom I adore, but I have one thing that I've never told anybody and it can overtake even the most positive things in the world. Until that goes away I'll always feel this negative hold on me. It makes every single day difficult. Then there is my low self esteem which makes things worse. I hate the way I look and even though there are people out there who are disfigured and the likes who would probably love to look like me i still feel like crap. My looks have changed so much due to stress or depression and leaving the house makes me feel ill.

Ah I see I'm not sure how I'd contact DWP then. I did call my local authority and was advised they could offer food vouchers but only if ESA refuse to give me an advanced payment of ESA and I'd need to write down who refused to and why. I didn't feel upto this on Friday so may do it tomorrow. £20 will probably do food though to he honest, pasta is cheap as anything, I'll get tinned beans and have beans on toast, i already have lots if teabags and sweeteners I'll make sure I have milk and bread, we don't eat cereal anyway so 4 pints should do a full week. It just means not eating my regular stuff for a few weeks and I'm sure I'll despise pasta by then haha. Also I'll be stuck in the house with my daughter during school holidays which is depressing as anything. She goes back in 2.5 weeks and I literally haven't taken her anywhere yet. Not even out for a meal. She's already told me her friends keep asking why she never goes on holiday etc, imagine when she goes back and tells people she has literally been nowhere. I can't even sit in the garden as I feel too uncomfortable when neighbours are also out.

Sorry for ranting yet again. Feel like all I do is think negatively but given how much my life and body has changed these last few years I just feel like absolute hell.

I understand how its hard to find any positives I've definitely been there. I also went through nearly 6 months of not leaving the house more than the odd doctors appointment and it's terrible I can't sit in my garden either, how old is your daughter KeeKee?

[KeeKee]

She's 9. Aw I'm sorry to hear that. Life can be so hard at times and I think when it's mental health it's harder to get empathy from others as they think you are your own problem and sometimes that just isn't the case.

[KatiePink]

She's 9. Aw I'm sorry to hear that. Life can be so hard at times and I think when it's mental health it's harder to get empathy from others as they think you are your own problem and sometimes that just isn't the case.

Yeah totally get that. It's hard but not caring or focusing in what others think is something I'm working towards!

Does your daughter have friends close by she plays with?
Children just don't understand life so them asking about holidays ect is something that will probably happen and it's obviously not nice for you as you feel guilty but try you're hardest not to focus on that, can I ask how is your daughter with your split from your partner?