It's a bit of a long story...
Hello.
This is not the sort of thing that I would usually do however, I have reached a point where I am desperate. Hopefully someone will read this and my words will resonate with you; I am so incredibly lonely at the moment and aside from my wonderful, beautiful Mum I don't have anyone else to talk to. I will turn 20 this September so in a desperate attempt to turn things around I have come here for some help and guidance. Perhaps I can help somebody else too, but I am in great need of a friend right now. First, let me give you the "condensed" version of my journey thus far.
At the age of 5 I was diagnosed with severe Crohn's Disease and had to go to a specialist hospital in London (I won't say location, it was quite a distance from my home though). My checkups still take place here, however I have transition onto the adult ward. I have experienced many flare ups which have taken me out of school and unfortunately i missed most of my secondary education. I managed to complete my GCSE's at home (the bare minimum maths, science & english); being out of school for so long caused me to develop severe social anxiety to the point where I could not even bear to be in the same room as someone else my age or else I would drop to the floor and cower. I am proud to say however that my passion for learning drove me (with great difficulty I might add!) to join sixth form to do my A-Levels. Though things were much better I was still very, very socially awkward & anxious but I tolerated this by focusing solely on my studies.
As you can imagine with Crohn's, my relationship with food throughout the years has been very up and down and as a result of this I developed an eating disorder. I dealt with this throughout sixth form and was under the threat of going residential (I managed to avoid this with support from my family). I have seen many therapists & psychologists throughout the years to no avail, I've received help with Needle Phobia, Social anxiety, Panic Attacks, ED, Depression, OCD... I don't know the etiquette on here but its been a bit of a cr*p time. Sorry for going on.
Now I've been out of sixth form for a year and my social anxiety has just gone backwards. All progress I've made is being slowly diminished. I don't have a job, I declined my uni place, fatigue prevents me from doing anything, and I feel SO LONELY.
Again, sorry for going on it's just I'm at my wits end.
I am bound to have missed something out but I've typed this while in a bit of a frenzy.
If anybody has any advice on managing social anxiety and how to make friends as an adult, it would be greatly appreciated.
I hope that you are having a good day and many thanks if you managed to read all of this.
"May the Force Be With You"
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