So upset with myself I need help

[KatiePink]

My anxiety was so bad this morning getting ready for work, I tried to just push through even though my heart was in my mouth and I was shaking doing my make up, I managed to get out and was walking to the bus stop it felt like everything was closing in around me, heart basically felt like it was vibrating, felt like I was going to be sick and tears were coming down my face I just broke down

I ended up rushing home in a state and had my partner call in work for me, I know i shouldn't be I was in no state to do it myself he just said I was sick and couldn't physically call. Now I have the stress that I'm going to lose this job on top of feeling like a pathetic idiot

I just don't get it, I do everything else in my life fine, I don't like to go out in public that much even the shop I dread but it's never bad like that I can always do it, why is going to work such a horror for me we can't afford for me to be out if work and I feel like I'm just ruining everything and i don't know why.

[Mercime]

Another lady kicking themselves today, must be something in the water!

Katie, a panic attack - and that's what it was - is truly awful, For whatever reason, yours is work so identifying that already will help. Maybe you feel under so much pressure, the PA is the result? You tried to go and did your very best, please be kind to yourself. Remember that just because it happened today, it may not happen tomorrow. Is it a job you dislike, or maybe there are issues with fellow workers?

[KatiePink]

Another lady kicking themselves today, must be something in the water!

Katie, a panic attack - and that's what it was - is truly awful, For whatever reason, yours is work so identifying that already will help. Maybe you feel under so much pressure, the PA is the result? You tried to go and did your very best, please be kind to yourself. Remember that just because it happened today, it may not happen tomorrow. Is it a job you dislike, or maybe there are issues with fellow workers?

Thanks Mercime.

I do feel under a lot of pressure, to get back on my feet and be 'normal'. As we are not in a fortunate position where i can afford to be out of work, i feel like it's all on me, if we want the holiday, the nice things and no stress i better sort myself out. My partner never puts this stress on me though.

It's a new job i only started last week, the people seem very nice, it's a bit overwhelming mainly due to being out of work for so long, but other than that it's too early for any negatives so i really don't understand the panic before work.

[pulisa]

Because it's new and you are frightened of not being able to cope/stick with the job? You have put a lot of pressure on yourself.

Don't be too hard on yourself and tomorrow will be a different day. Have a relaxing afternoon and give a wide berth to "certain" threads-that won't help your anxiety either!!

[KatiePink]

Because it's new and you are frightened of not being able to cope/stick with the job? You have put a lot of pressure on yourself.

Don't be too hard on yourself and tomorrow will be a different day. Have a relaxing afternoon and give a wide berth to "certain" threads-that won't help your anxiety either!!

Thank you Pulisa i think you're right there.

I definitely am frightened, what happened this morning is done and instead of spending all day going over it i do need to relax.
If only we were all good at that

[skymaid]

sorry to hear that katie. I had one yesterday about nothing in particular just got more and more anxious all day.

I always feel like ive failed everytime panic gets me too. you havent though. at least you tried and you can try again. you can always try again.

[KatiePink]

sorry to hear that katie. I had one yesterday about nothing in particular just got more and more anxious all day.

I always feel like ive failed everytime panic gets me too. you havent though. at least you tried and you can try again. you can always try again.

Thank you these are the things i need to tell myself, instead of beating myself up about it.

[Magic]

I am sorry too Katie, I felt like the same today. yesterday fine ,planned for today but it has not happened. Tomorrow is another day so I hope both of us feel better to face whatever comes. take care

[KatiePink]

I am sorry too Katie, I felt like the same today. yesterday fine ,planned for today but it has not happened. Tomorrow is another day so I hope both of us feel better to face whatever comes. take care

Thank you, you too

[Sunflower2]

KatiePink, I know exactly how the feeling of dread comes over you before work. I had this for ages and it was awful, I would wake up fine and as it got closer to the time that I had to leave for work I would get worked up and teary, then shake and not able to leave the house to drive myself to work. For me it was because of the driving and knowing id be away from home all day, but the reasons aren't the problem but how we react to them.

I was fortunate that my boss knew about anxiety and how bad it can make you feel so although I was often an hour or so late and looked a state for a few hours, they just gave me space and slowly I got better. I haven't been late to work because of anxiety in over a year now and now I'm even getting in early and sometimes staying late!

I also put a lot of pressure on myself as o thought I was being ridiculous. It really is something that you just need to do over and over again, getting coping mechanisms and trying again when you feel like utter rubbish one day. The feeling always passes, even at my worst after an hour or so I calmed down enough to be able to get to work and feel relatively OK by the end of the day. It's not nice I know but you can get through it!