i just replied to a thread that got me thinking...

before my panic attacks *** the thought of starting college or a new job or going off travelling made me really excited, i looked forward to it even though i would also feel really anxious.... it was an excited kinda anxious i was feeling....

but now *** the thought of doing any of those things just makes me anxious but a scared outta my wits kinda anxious, no excited-ness what-so-ever...

i get really scared about having to go back to work or college and it's really hard to differentiate between the normal levels of anxiety that anyone would feel starting a new job and the feelings of a panic attack. i think my problem is that i cant see a day when i wont mind feeling nervous but excited, im scared i'll always associate feeling anxious with crazy feelings of not being in controll.. if thats so will i ever be 'cured'?

do you think now we've experianced the depths and torture of what anxiety can really be like we will ever be able to find it an enjoyable exciting sensation again?

anyone have any experiances or thoughts to share???