Anyone who knows about psychology please help me?

[sadtimes]

This isn't OCD related (I think) but there was just something I did a while ago that I really wanna know why I did it.

i'm gonna try and make this as short as possible so it's not boring.

Basically, for most of this year I've been doing a lot of drugs with my friends from University and I'm not gonna lie it did start to mess with my head. One night we went out, I hadn't slept for two days and took an MDMA pill, and drank some alcohol. Blackout.

I don't remember a thing from that night. However I ended up managing to destroy every single friendship with each of my flatmates. I did a LOT of bad things which ended with each of my 6 flatmates despising me but the main one, the big one, the one I'm asking for psychological help for.

My flatmate James is the nicest person I've ever met, genuinely the loveliest person I've known, he suffers from major depression. That night while I was blackout I ended up telling him to go hang himself, that everyone hates him, that he's not wanted and that he's worthless.
All of these things are the furthest from the truth, and they are all things that I've never even thought about, so it's not like drunk me spoke my mind, it was like I became this whole other horrible person. I've only ever thought good things about him.

Apart from drugs, is there any other psychological reason why I might have said these things. James always jokes about hanging himself, so I can slightly understand where that came from, but is there any other reason why I said these things? No one will believe me that I never meant to say them, everyone now thinks I'm this evil manipulative person who brings people up only to put them down.

[Fishmanpa]

I can't give you a psychological explanation and I'm not versed as to the effects of MDMA but I do know that many drugs including alcohol lower one's inhibitions thus allowing one to express feelings that under normal circumstances would be under control.

I think you need to accept responsibility for your actions and should seriously consider making drastic measures to your current lifestyle.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

My flatmate James is the nicest person I've ever met, genuinely the loveliest person I've known, he suffers from major depression. That night while I was blackout I ended up telling him to go hang himself, that everyone hates him, that he's not wanted and that he's worthless.
All of these things are the furthest from the truth, and they are all things that I've never even thought about, so it's not like drunk me spoke my mind, it was like I became this whole other horrible person. I've only ever thought good things about him.

Apart from drugs, is there any other psychological reason why I might have said these things.

The bits in red bold are all that matter here, the rest is you thinking you are turning into something else that is within - a common concern for OCD sufferers who have intrusive thoughts about harm. You've never explained what yours are about, and there is no pressure to do so, but if they are harm based you are asking the same other people on here do with the same themes.

First off, you don't know what's in that ecstasy. There are various adverse effects including paranoia, impulsiveness, irritability, etc. That's not considering anything it's mixed with and the effects that can have on you.

Drink, drugs, etc all causes people to act in different ways. It's not difficult to spot a bunch of long term substance abusers around town shouting the odds and acting in ways we would consider antisocial.

Inhibitions drop, some people can't handle the effects, and fights happen. Any average person could end up in a fight after a heavy night with their normal social controls down and it happens in town centres every night of the week.

Long term MDMA use can cause damage. Having anxiety on top of this is only asking for trouble given how it interacts with some of the neurotransmitters involved in our mental health issues, your friend with MDD too!

I've been in that scene too (cocaine being my recreational drug of choice) and eventually you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder about yourself. My result was jacking in such toxic friendships.