Mixed emotions :(

[Andy1718]

So tomorrow I am due back at work after a long break and summer. In May this horrible affliction hit me like a ton of bricks. My already underlying anxiety took me from manageable to off the chart. Since then I have learnt a lot about myself. I needed help from my GP as clearly I wasn't coping. I am glad I did this. I have learned that this is so common and I am not alone. I have learnt that everyone is different and constant googling is not good. I have learnt that the critics, authors, experts who tell you need to buck up and get on know shit unless they have been through it. I have learnt that you must find your own way to cope and what works for you. Meds, CBT, counselling will not work for all and meds will not solve everything.
In my first month I couldn't get out of bed or go to the shop. It felt that I had taking 10 steps backwards. The meds have got me back to where I was before. So it's like starting again. Tomorrow I am due back at work. I knew this was coming and have to face it. So I am hoping and praying that with my tablets and strength I can get myself into a meeting of staff that I have not been in for 15 years. So the question is what if I can't? I am trying to be positive but also realize that maybe after 22 years of teaching at the same school it's time to leave. I am on a phrased return. I have 3 training days that will bombard me with stress and that concerns me. How I cope tomorrow is make or break for me. I love people's support on here and I could have not got to where I am today. But as of today I am where I was 4 months ok feeling fine but dreading the stress of work and meetings. Really hoping that when I approach school tomorrow I feel different.

[sidiam]

Hi Andy,
I won't say ...you'll be ok....cos I don't have a crystal ball but I do know you are going to try and you will do your best. You can't do more...
I can imagine that it is at the moment very daunting...
What time does the meeting start and how long will it go on for. What I do when I need to do something scary (most things out of my comfort zone are scary to me) is say to myself "it will be over before lunch/2'oclock/half past 4. whatever.
You are going to take a pill to give you some support, don't forget to take it with you..i
Try not to worry and think about the future, it will sort its self out one way or the other.
will be thinking of you tomorrow,
take care
Sxx
This time tomorrow evening it will be all behind you, I really do hope it goes well..

[Luelle]

I use to hate meeting last too ! I would take a beta blocker an hour before, go to the bathroom and take deep breaths, and arrive 10 minutes earlier and say hello to everyone individually before so it was all familiar. If you need to get out the meeting just flee, no one will think anything of it. If that does happen, go somewhere quiet and when you feel up to it return. You will be fine !