How can i stop checking?

[rainbow]

I've had cbt...twice! It did help and my last really bad HA episode was over five years ago and the cbt has helped me but for some reason I'm really struggling this time. Any other time if I passed pieces of carrot, tomato etc in my stool it would scare me for a minute until I realised what it is, but now everything and anything is scaring me and I feel I'm totally out of control and just barely holding myself together.

There are some good tips on here but I worry that if I don't look then I'll miss something important.

[Kathryn313]

Yeah, there is a segment in my posts whereby I worry about missing things if I don't check but if it is something terrible it will make itself known. Missing one check will not prevent that.

Have you gone back to those first exercises, ie logging down how many times you are checking and what your thoughts and beliefs are after every check?

[Fishmanpa]

Be a cat!.... Yes I said... be a cat!

You know how cats go in their litter box, then bury it and run out of the box a million miles an hour? That's what you need to do! Do the deed, reach back and flush (bury) and run!

Positive thoughts and poo threads

[gothic_rose]

I had a checking habbit a few years back with something else.

MY therapist said to give yourself a limit to checking to help lessen your anxiety. Cold turky withdrawl from checking cn just make you more anxious.

I had to wean myself off from checking. Mine was toilet related in a way so would check every time I was in the loo and was then making excuses to use the loo so I could check. I had to cut down slowly..... 3 times a day, once a day, 3 times a week etc etc. It took a while but it worked.

I have BPD, I know its not easy either being the sufferer or the the suffering. Hugs to you and your son x

[rainbow]

Fishmanpa- sounds like a good idea but cats don't have to wipe their butts ��

Gothic rose - sorry to hear that you have bpd, it's an awful illness.

I'll try to cut down on the checking but I think either way I will be anxious. It's so silly really how all of a sudden I'm fixated on this and it's pretty much taken over my life.

[Joe Hayes]

Hi.

I am in a similar place with fighting the checking urge. I am relatively new to this HA thing so in no-way confess to be either an expert or even successful in beating it. My HA bonfire is definitely still burning.

CBT thinking is however useful for me at the moment but I appreciate how hard it can be to adhere to. In this situation, CBT would note the following -

There are two routes you can follow after the first two steps:

Step 1)You go the toilet
Step 2)Before getting off the toilet, you ask yourself what will checking achieve? and what will not checking achieve?

Route1: Your threat brain will answer first telling you that you have to check, you are under threat and the only way to know that you are ok is to check. The threat brain requires instant relief, it is addicted to checking and by checking you are like an addict getting a hit.

So you check:
If it is ok then you feel relief, for a small while until you need another hit.
If it isn't ok (or more likely you perceive it as not ok), then your threat brain goes into overdrive - like an addict overdosing, you cant think straight, you are out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop the anxiety ...that is until the drug wears off. Once it does wear off you will need another hit and probably quite quickly.

Or you take the second route...

Route2:You hear the response of your threat brain, acknowledge that it's worried. However the only way to remove an addiction is to ween off the drug. So you tell yourself that this time you are not going to check. You accept that this will create an even higher level of anxiety (like withdrawal) but you sooth your threat brain by telling it that nothing will change as a result of not-checking, symptoms are there or more likely not there whether you check or not but by choosing not to check you can begin to reduce the level of dependency on the drug which will allow you to assess things more rationally.

So you don't check, you close your eyes and flush the toilet.
The threat brain creates panic at not knowing what it was like, anxiety goes off the scale but gradually over the next 20-30 mins the threat brain realises that nothing bad as happened as a result of not checking. Nothing has changed and it is soothed by your logical brain and rational actions. This too will only last so long as it is an addiction, but each time you don't check the weaker the need for the drug should be.

Over today and yesterday I am practising route 2 in relation to not checking my tongue in the mirror...the other practical thing that helps is not turning the bathroom light on so I cant see my reflection!

I have also told my threat brain that it can check tomorrow morning before I see the doctor as nothing different will happen as a result of not checking until then. This deferred worrying/checking is a way of reducing the daily (or more realistic hourly) dependency on the drug.

No idea if any of that helps in this case! however writing this down was quite cathartic for me. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

This is such a good post.

[Fishmanpa]

Fishmanpa- sounds like a good idea but cats don't have to wipe their butts ��

You reach back and flush before you wipe kiddo

Positive thoughts and poo threads

[rainbow]

This is such a good post.

Yeah it is, I'm going to try to do this, it's gonna be hard but it might just save my sanity!

---------- Post added at 07:28 ---------- Previous post was at 07:25 ----------

You reach back and flush before you wipe kiddo

Positive thoughts and poo threads

It's checking the tp that's more of an issue tho, and we all do that to make sure we're clean. Unfortunately though I check it too closely

---------- Post added at 07:32 ---------- Previous post was at 07:28 ----------

Yeah, there is a segment in my posts whereby I worry about missing things if I don't check but if it is something terrible it will make itself known. Missing one check will not prevent that.

Have you gone back to those first exercises, ie logging down how many times you are checking and what your thoughts and beliefs are after every check?

Do I just stop checking altogether or maybe every second day or so? This is honestly driving me insane.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Stopping a compulsion completely and resisting it can be hard. If you can't do it, approach it the ERP way by creating an elimination process which means cutting down bit by bit.

I couldn't do the dead stop method, I could do the cut down.

So, if you check 20 times, you cut it down a few times, whatever you can and you keep it at that level and push on to reduce it again & again until you reach zero.

It's the same as any process that can become a repetitive compulsion whether it's checking locks, touching any object (or even your body), etc. Cutting down is encouraging you to remove the need for it. Even after you may still feel the urges but you will be more able to control your reaction and not engage in the compulsion.

[Kathryn313]

Allow yourself a set of number of checks and gradually ween off the drug! The next time you go, don't check but tell yourself it's ok because you will check next time. If you are able to, write down how it felt not checking, acknowledge how scary it was but that you survived it. Then check next time, write down how that felt. Then go two times without checking and so on. No magic formula though, different patterns help different people.

Good luck. X