Rubbish at asking for help, but please help!!

[smiles]

Hello, I rarely ask for help but I'm falling apart at the mo, I will try to keep it brief as I don't want to bore you!!

Three years ago I nursed my mum through osphageal cancer (no details as I don't want to trigger anyone)
When she was diagnosed we really didn't see it coming, she had a endoscopy we were taken into a room with a Dr and McMillan nurse and was told she had a tumour.

I have been getting the same symptoms as her, tomorrow I am having endoscopy, and I am terrified, not of the endoscopy ( not that I'm looking forward to it either) but of going into a room to be told afterwards.
I know I have to go through with it as the what if is effecting me big time, but I want to run away and hide!
I'm think most of my symptoms are my anxiety, but it's all become so tangled in my head I don't know any more!!
So please any advise or help would be very very king and welcoming x x x

[damianjmcgrath]

I'm not good at advice so I hope this doesn't sound too cold. But whatever the outcome of tomorrow, there's nothing you can do about it. You can't change what your body has already done. If it's nothing, great. If it's something, I'm sure it will be easily fixed. Either way, worrying or being anxious will do nothing except make you miserable.

I would suggest forgetting it, distracting yourself by doing something else. Deal with things after they happen, not before!

[jk7704]

Im so sorry for what you've had to go through with your mum and the symptoms & fears you're having now. I can't sit here and tell you not to worry as I'm exactly the same. I've been in that room after tests and been told not very good news, (although the drs can't to this day say for definite I had cancer, long story and touch wood all ok now), but I completely understand your fear of walking into the room and this situation is where my HA stemmed from. I can't tell you the pains, aches, weird physical symptoms I had after my issue, stuck in throat feeling, pain under ribs, lots of things that could be linked to different cancers, (that's my big HA fear). As time has gone on I'm not suffering as badly as I was and many of these 'symptoms' were obviously my anxiety, it's a powerful thing that changes your mental state and physical. I really hope it goes well for you and it is the anxiety. Good luck xxxx

[Beachlady]

Smiles,

You’ve been traumatized by your experience with your mom. Naturally you’re going to feel fear. Remember that there is is no hereditary link with this type of cancer.

I think you’ll do just fine.

[pulisa]

Smiles, your fears are only natural following what you went through with your Mum. You'll only get reassurance once the endoscopy is over. Anxiety can throw up all sorts of weird symptoms particularly with globus. Oesophageal cancer is not hereditary as you know but this will not help you at the moment. Good luck today.

[damianjmcgrath]

How did it go today?

[smiles]

Hi there, thanks for asking!! I have gastritis!!! Whoop whoop!! I'm so pleased on two points, One.....it's not cancer, phew ! Two.....really happy that I do have a reason for all the symptoms I have been getting rather than it being just anxiety!
The endoscopy was not nice, I decided to be brave and have the throat spray, I had toget them to stop after a a couple of minutes as my nose was blocked and I felt that I couldn't breath, I then had the sedation and it was lovely!! All I remember is looking at the pretty green lights blinking on the machine!!!
I now have a very sore oesophagas, but as hard as it was I am so happy I have had it done!! My anxiety is almost gone!! I would have no hesitation doing it again with sedation x

[StrangeQuark]

That's excellent news, smiles. I'm glad to hear everything is okay and that your anxiety is almost gone too. Makes the brief unpleasantness of the endoscopy totally worth it!

[pulisa]

I'm so pleased that it's "just" gastritis and that you have been completely reassured on the other front. Take things easy today and concentrate on clearing up your gastritis!

[Kathryn313]

Good news.x