Panic attacks about becoming a farther

[3535nathan]

Hi

I am hoping someone might be able to help me.

I started having a panic attacks about 5 years ago it started when I cam home from work and went for a number 1 and when I finished I had the urge to go again and I did not know why so I had a huge panic attack. Since then I had a number of tests etc that showed I had nothing wrong with my bladder. After this I was afraid to go to places and I then went away for two days to Ireland and while I was over their I had a panic attack whilst in a restaurant which resorted in me booking a flight streight home. I new at this point we me withdrawing from going out etc I started to see a therapist and nearly £1000 later I still felt anxious but since that day two years ago I no longer had actual attacks just anxiety. Anyway 4 months ago I found out my gf is pregnant which imidiatly brought back the panic attacks that night. They stopped after a few days. I still had anxiety about becoming a dad etc. Then last week my gf asked me to feel the baby kick and my body filled with adrenaline and I started panicking. I know deep down that I would love to be a father and I am looking forward to seeing my child etc. But I'm really struggling to stop the anxiety and the panic attacks when they come are terrible I worry about loosing my job and not being able to provide I worry about when my next attack will be. I feel so guilty on my gf as this time is purely about her and the baby so I fee selfish for feeling this way. I still live at home with my mum due to anxiety however I have saved allot of money over the years so I know we will be ok but anxiety convinces me that I won't cope. I know deep down I can do this even though it's not easy but the anxiety is clouding my thoughts and making me believe stupid things. The panic attacks are horrible and I have always avoided medication but I feel it is the last resort. Has anyone ever found relief from panic attacks with meds. I just don't want to take anything that will make it worse or make me an addict. We have a scan today and even though I have been to manny allready and been ok now since I had an attack last week the thought of the scan fills me with panic and I don't know why because I deep down want to go and see baby etc.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

[Qualified_Survivor]

Just about everyone you come across will at some time have gone through or are going through exactly what you are experiencing. Most of us are so wrapped up in ourselves that we fail to notice the other person.

It's perfectly natural to feel panic and anxiety at the thought of becoming a father. It's the greatest gift and responsibility a man experiences. You wouldn't be human if you weren't full of trepidation.

All too often we burden ourselves with totally unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We set the bar too high and inevitably fail to reach our goals. I would recommend that you go see your GP and discuss CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I was very much in the state you are now in and struggled for decades. CBT really did help.

I would also stop drinking anything containing caffeine and look for caffeine free alternatives of which there are plenty. Caffeine gets you wired and does not help. Same goes for booze and fags. Take up running and run til it hurts. It'll take your mind of you and you may even turn out to be good at it.



As for medication, again discuss that with your GP. I started taking Citalopram exactly a week ago as I had unwittingly allowed myself to fall back into some very negative behaviour patterns which were threatening my relationship - basically she sodded off. For me that medication worked really well. I'm back to being calm and positive and my partner is about to move back in too. I did suffer some really crap side effects for the first few days but a week later they've all but worn off - apart that is from being unable to orgasm! Still my partner seems to be enjoying it lol

I would add that there is a very informative article on the use of Citalopram here on the forum. The forum is full of useful advice but do be aware that it can be addictive in a very negative way in that to my mind it encourages people to dwell too much on their problems. IMHO

Good luck

[3535nathan]

Thank you for your response I had the scan and I was a little anxious but managed to not let it take over me. I will book an appointment with the gp this afternoon