Anyone Had Confidential Letters Arrive Opened?

[MsBelle]

Has this happened to anyone else? I got my Appeals bumpf posted to me today and the envelope (albeit a very heavy one) was OPENED! (Ripped, not just came unglued).

I vaguely remembered reading this article a few years back http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...s-8118203.html
(though that article implies that the letters opened by Royal Mail are from claimants).

I'm not paranoid enough to assume my neighbours all had a coffee morning reading through it all, but it's deeply unsettling to think someone could look through such information.

Today has been rotten. Not only was I upset by that, but reading through the report (where the medical examiner states her "opinion" about my condition rather than what I related to her) made me feel like I'm some sort of phony and not believed - there were lots of contradictions in there, giving the impression like I walked in bright and breezy and not the scared, panicky, weeping person I really was.

Later this afternoon I was on tenterhooks waiting on a mental health assessment phone interview (I'm too self conscious to visit one on one so was pondering over all the things I'd have to mention towards my potted life history) - they didn't phone either!

[Magic]

My husband had a letter from our local health centre. It had not been sealed by the sender. A phone call would have done anyway.
My neighbour had one of our bank statements once. She opened it although it was clearly addressed to us.
hope you get the phone call today MsBelle, so frustrating.

[MsBelle]

Hi Magic Maybe the opened letter has just been a mistake, it was on my mind for ages. Opening a bank statement is pretty personal too, wouldn't be too pleased either (personally I wouldn't look if I was aware it was the wrong addressee because I wouldn't want it done to me).

The Mental Health Team yesterday, missed the call at 10.30am (I may consider myself to be rubbish at lots of things but I'd win Olympic Gold for Insomnia ) so I phoned her right back.

I didn't feel I touched upon everything - I have real emotional crises and overreact to things the way I don't feel a "normal person" does, to the point where I have to hide for days and can get suicidal - it's almost like a physical blow to the head when I'm upset, obsessive thoughts when I worry, but I did talk about the well-versed avoidance techniques and preparation I go through before going outside.

She did suggest a CBT class but I'm not sure how I'll be - I have to judge environments on whether I will panic in them or not and crowded rooms always make me want to flee.

She did say some nice things (about how she thinks people judge me for being articulate and that may alienate them, as I said I've been bullied at school and in workplaces - I don't really think it's that, people, I think, assume I'm dumb because I'm so introverted and panicky).

Also that I said I'm "stupid" a lot, which was more me talking about my irrational thoughts and behaviours, but I do have big esteem problems.

I've not to feel that I'm just being "dumped" in a class, but to feel that I'm doing something positive will help, she said, before I work on more in-depth treatment.

Not so sure about the class idea as I'm really quite socially terrified and self conscious about others knowing my weaknesses (of course we're all in the same boat but I'd rather work on things on my own. The thought of group therapy, which this isn't, thankfully, is my worst nightmare).

[unsure_about_this]

I have never had a confidential letter opened. Have we had post been opened, yes, torn/

However I do remember when I had to go to a training provider I told them repeated that you have sent it to the wrong address (the advisors did not like being put in the wrong and blame me for writing my address down wrongly even though the job centre sent me)
even though it was three doors away I would have got into trouble by the job centre if I have not gone to the meetings if I have not got given the letter by my neighbour

[MsBelle]

Thought I may as well update now I'm here!

I went to a few of the CBT classes. First hurdle was - how was I going to be socially and anxiety-wise in the alien environment I was now placed in? The Mirtazipine at night ensured that I had a better-than-unmedicated sleep but I was still on edge when I got there and not looking forward to it. But I wanted to keep an open mind.

The mental health team told me over the phone it wouldn't be like group therapy but I felt rather misled - they did ask for group and individual insights - for someone like me who hates wearing my heart on my sleeve publicly, especially with such uncomfortable subjects as irrational thinking, my lack of any reasonable routine, emotional crashes and over-reactions, forgetfulness - I just don't like being that open.

I felt - okay - though I did quell a few panics and felt a bit shaky - the door was open so that made the room less enclosed (I suppose all panicky people notice such small things). We were also told that we could get up and leave at any time if we felt anxious - even having that "permission" helps, because I hate any sort of captive audience situation (eg, queues, classrooms, one on one discussions, especially with anyone new who may judge me). If I'm "stuck" in a situation I think I'm going to embarrass myself and it intensifies the ruminating negative thoughts!

Socially, I did okay, one or two seemed approachable and nice so I made small talk (surprised myself, actually, as I've been so isolated and not keen on the human race at all). One woman made a pointed snigger when I was discussing a dodgy area I used to live in - and later completely blanked me as we were leaving the room...so that started the paranoid thoughts and feelings.

Aren't we all supposed to support one another? Then I turned it to self-blame - wondering if it was something about me she didn't like - do I look gormless, does she think I don't dress well, am I unlikable somehow?

I do feel in the past and even the present that some people do judge me negatively and I can't quite get my head round why. Does my tendency to panic and nervous aura make me seem weak, stupid or not worth knowing? I got a bit obsessive over this and it pushed me over the edge - I got so worked up about it I felt the place was no longer a "safe space" - and that was it. I'm already so socially anxious and detached from the world day to day, I just couldn't bear being around this person again.

About the treatment itself - I'm nonplussed. The practitioners did enthusiastically say it's the NHS' first line of treatment for mental health and rhapsodised how wonderful it is for the first few sessions - very little useful information was shared for ages. That slightly irked me as I made immense efforts just to turn up, felt very vulnerable and wanted to feel I was "doing something".

I do know a bit about CBT from past experience and online articles and videos etc, so the principles weren't new.

I then felt rather pressured to score myself less on the anxiety levels each week (they kept asking us to fill in these forms) but this also told me I wasn't getting much benefit.

There was a horrible moment where I stared at the paper when faced with the "Things that give you pleasure or sense of achievement" - well, a depressive doesn't get excited or inspired by anything - they're trying to stay alive and trying to quell the feeling of constant emotional unease, despair, self destructive thoughts - there's little room for much else when you're living moment to moment, day to day. Seeing others manically scribbling all the things they loved to do made me feel like standing up and leaving....I felt like crying. I know that sounds stupid!

From the horrors of having to do the Mandatory Reconsideration (then kicked back into the Jobcentre interviews when you feel like an alien who has no self-worth, can't do anything and can barely even sleep or function properly, never mind have to portray an "even" demeanour, socialise and be a productive human being) - then the Appeal where they say I have mental ill health but not bad enough to qualify - I'm in a weird no-man's-land where I am ill but not ill enough.

The Appeal was rejected and they saw my articulate letters as being a sign of my wellness (!) - they don't seem to realise I spent many hours and days trying to explain everything properly - not to mention the distress it caused having to read the pathetic account of my "lifestyle", my lack of self care, my detachment from the world and need to try and make life as safe and liveable as possible (but it makes for a very small world that manages the stress levels and sensory overload I feel at times - but also frustrates the hell out of me - especially when I compare my life to others - and oh, I've done so much of that over the years).

Also I think lack of medical input from a GP was a factor where the Appeal was concerned - something I have to address - partly because a) I have been seeing doctors about anxiety, agoraphobic tendencies, insomnia, depression for years and feel I've said it all before, I'm sure they're bored to death of me, I know I am of myself.....the doctor just writes out my repeat prescription and it's all very rushed so it's hard to see the bigger picture of what's happening in my life, b) Getting an appointment is a task in itself - usually around 10 days ahead - whichever random doctor is available, so I don't forge a "relationship" with the same physician, which isn't in my favour either. c) The last time I asked for a GP's letter I was quoted around £50 or so! which ruled that out as I'm hardly in the best financial shape.

I am sent to a Jobcentre (where even the advisor seemed concerned about me as I sat there in tears shaking - I even missed an appointment because I was spending so much time trying to quell the panicky thoughts I didn't hear him saying he was putting me down for weekly appointments) - that caused a huge upset for me as I hated myself for making such a stupid mistake but then worried I would have no money or be able to eat. Mercifully they were okay about it and accepted my explanation.

Currently, I am back on the ESA treadmill (where I was told, you can only qualify if your condition is "significantly worse" - well, worse for me means dead surely?!) and I know another laughable "medical" is on the cards.

To be honest I feel like going to the medical and shrieking, You people stab me in the back! I'm sick of it! I don't want to have to deal with you, talk to you, humiliate myself - I just want to go home!

After these awful "medicals" I feel like doing something self-destructive. For a human being who already struggles with despairing moods, I don't know how I could feel any lower. It takes me days to recover from. Then reading the awful opinions (they are not medical conclusions, they are simply the HCP's opinions of you - and there are always inaccuracies in there) make me feel sick to the stomach. The letters make me cry my eyes out and feel completely on my own.

You are reminded you have no support, you're worthless and they're making you beg for your money.