Health Anxiety is RUINING MY LIFE!

[Colicab85]

Hi All.

Been around here for a few months now following a mental breakdown due to stress that morphed into Health Anxiety.

I've had enough now, how do I get it to stop? I literally can't stop googling, I know more about cancer and MND and everything than most doctors (not literally).

I have a few "symptoms" (pain in left hip, twitching calves, minor resting tremor and tiredness) all of which the doctors put down to Anxiety, I'm trying my best to believe them and I think i do, but i still can't stop googling and worrying. I'm a total burden to my Girlfriend who I love more than anything.

I tried Sertraline and although it improved my general mood, i couldn't stand the side effects so I stopped taking it.

I'm on the waiting list for CBT but got to wait at least another 2 months.

How do I train my mind to stop worrying, 90% of my time I'm thinking about illness and twinges and everything. Even when I'm relaxed, watching the match or a film.

I present that I'm normal at work and to my parents but inside it is utter turmoil and its causing the symptoms to increase and make me worry more.

Sorry I've rambled, but im F**KING sick of this now. Honestly think it would be easier if i just dissppeared. My partner, who is perfect, does not deserve this mess of a person I've become.

ARGH!

[Kathryn313]

It's a hard nut to crack and I am only a short way into my journey, there are people on here with much more experience. I never thought I would get to the stage where I wake up and not be constantly preoccupied by thoughts of my health but I do get some respite now.

Its a shame the CBT waiting list is so long, am assuming going private isn't an option just to start you off?

There are many threads around medication and what has helped others and how to manage side affects. Worrisome that you feel it would be easier to disappear, it wouldn't be.

The forum is good for venting and for advice and for having a general nosey. Google is not anyones friend...my CBT therapist likened using google to weight training , every time I checked I was working my worry muscle, building it right up so that I was ready to win the gold medal in the worry olypmics. The only way to stop building muscle was to stop checking. The image worked for me (although not cured as I still have the odd peak!!). You will see from my other post that I am in no way through the other side yet, I am still convinced I am misdiagnosed with something but am beginning to live life again even with the background noise of 'what if'.

[Colicab85]

Thank you for the reply.

It's quite pathetic really, I used to be the least health conscious person you could meet. I would get twitching and headaches are not notice or care. Now they are all I think about. I just want to be normal again.

Can't stop thinking about my past indiscretions and how I was a fool for smoking for a few yrs and all the things I did at uni.

Why can't I allow logic to win? I worry about cancer but have none of the full symptoms, I worry about MND but have no weakness or atrophy, I worry about Parkinson's but play basketball 3 times a week.

Why am I so fixated on peripheral symptoms? These doctors are trained professionals, they know what they're doing! I'm just a moron with a smartphone.

I am so so mad st myself at the moment.

[paranoid-viking]

I am with you. It ruins my life too. Internet is a blessing in many ways; but it is also a curse for anyone suffering from health anxiety. I never knew there could be that much information of diseases out there and anectodical nighmtare stories of the particular diease you fear, but it is all out there. There are literally millions of nightmare stories and google serach matching everything you fear.
The curse of the Internet - sometimes. Like when there are things you actually wants to find it is not there at all whatsoever. Like I have been trying to goodle a good book analysis of a particular Norwegian novel but find nothing whatsoever except crap newspaper reviews and high school examn reports of that book. But nightmare info of the disease I fear - you find it - 100% sure. And reasurance is far in between. For example - how many time dont you see the dreadful tabloid articles "10 reasons you probably have a horrible and fatal disease"? It is everywhere. Hardly ever do you see "10 reasons you probably DO NOT have this horrible and fatal disease"? Never. Some scumbag clickbaiters are aparantly making money out of our miserys and reduced life quality as well.

[Colicab85]

See Daily Mail for that in the UK.

Check this list for evidence. They need stopping.

http://www.anorak.co.uk/288298/keypo...m-a-to-z.html/