When you can't express yourself because everyone turns to you for help

[rockandahardplace]

As my first post I feel I should introduce myself, but you know when you don't want be known or associated with anything for fear of judgement, but rather you just want to say how you feel without discrimination and judgement; that's me.

Currently I feel trapped and anxious and a massive failure. My career requires me to be resilient and free from any issues but this couldn't be further from the truth. The rationale side of my mind tells me that this is part and parcel of anxiety and life, but the other side leads me to self destructive thoughts and negative emotions that I'm weak and can't cope.

You know when you try so hard with everything and no one knows deep down the struggle that persists everyday, and the ruminating thoughts that plague the mind. It's a constant battle that just chips away at you and sometimes you just need reminding that you're better than the negative thoughts that the mind wants to manifest.

I guess im moaning, but when you have nobody to talk to for fear of judgement it becomes lonely. I have such a good support network, but my mind isolates the way I manage such emotions and thoughts to the extent that I alienate myself. The physical symptoms make me feel detached and useless which adds to the vicious cycle.

I guess I'm just venting in the only way I perceive to be possible :/

[.Poppy.]

I often feel frustrated because my brother is a bit of a worrier and my mom is very supportive of him and amused by his personality in that way. I have GAD/Depression and I feel less supported, actually often I just feel like I'm just "crazy" and not "cute" like he is.

It's awful to go through this nasty mess feeling like a failure or like you're all alone...it's exhausting, frankly. Particularly with the physical symptoms thrown in. So, so exhausting.

Do you have any access to counseling where you could talk one on one with someone who HAS to listen to you? I know that sounds kind of bad but it would be valuable to have someone help you express yourself a little more - which would be very beneficial for you since you say you have a great support network anyway.

[EKB]

Oh I know how you feel. I'm always the quiet and dependable one too. But then when I speak up I'm either overreacting or hysterical.

I agree - maybe try and find someone who has to listen to you. It helped me a few years ago and I'm considering going back as I'm having a rough time again.

Hang in there.