Hi Im new here and reaching out as I am totally stupid and feeling totally disappointed at myself!

I have lived with low self esteem, no confidence and GAD for going on 20 years, I finally realised I needed help earlier this year so I saw my doctor and I am finally starting intensive CBT with a lovely therapist .But its going to be a long process.

Anyway, Im struggling today. I need someone to talk to to just stop me going mad. I said something to a supplier at work today I shouldnt have mentioned, I then got the conversation back and smoothed it over but I just keep going over and over and over the conversation in my head and feel sick to my stomach about it! I feel like crying inside but cant as my husband and daughter are sat here and I feel like crying and crying and that Im going to loose my job and I am stupid and pathetic and dont deserve how good my company and boss are to me.

Im also feeling poop cos I keep forgetting things, all the time!! I am on some medication to help with the physical feelings I get with my anxiety and worry so Im not sure if its that, or that Im just rubbish at things argh I cant stop thinking what I am thinking and its driving me mad!

Sorry to go on and on I just need an outlet or I am going to go mad!

Sorry x