Fed up with my anxiety of 20 years

[SLH023]

Hi, I have suffered from anxiety for close to 20 years and it has changed through the years and I have always just accepted that this is part of my life. I do things in my life to make my life easier, which can often mean running away from people as they are talking to me, making my son stand in a queue instead of me and avoid public transport altogether.
I have a fear of getting diarrhea, which all started many years ago when a doctor said I had IBS. I have physical evidence that supports this fear which is what has made it so hard to psychologically battle this and to think that it 'won't' happen, cause it already has and what if it happens again. I have had CBT in the past, and although it has helped I'm still at a point where I will avoid doing things, I guess cause it is easier to avoid situations.
My sadness comes from people around me not understanding it, how exhausting it can be, that a simple night out can be a draining experience and my friends don't understand why I have to go through every single detail of the night, including going on venue websites to see how many toilets they have and if there might be a situation where I'll have to queue.
I guess I am just exhausted from living life like this, and with a trip to Vegas coming up (which I would quite happily cancel), I know something needs to change. This is my first step to that change.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya SLH023 and welcome to NMP

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way

[lil-bubble]

Hi,

First step is always the hardest, so well done

I also find it hard that others can't understand how difficult and draining it is coping daily. I'm new to the site but there is lots of info to help you. Most importantly your not in a minority here.

xx

[SLH023]

Thanks for your message lil-bubble. It's okay making the first step, it's making sure I follow those steps with step 2, 3 and 4 that is the hardest for me. I have to not let go of the feeling that I want to do something about this. Only I can make this change at the end of the day, and there is no magic wand (wish there was!!).