My first panic attack confusion

[steveo]

There has been something that has been bothering me my whole life. Any help or advise off ANYONE would be so greatly apreciated.
Im 22, and my first 'panic attack' was at the age of about 7. It was late at night (or it was for a 7year old) and I was in a village hall type thing. Can't remember the occasion but I do remember a busy room full of adults and children, talking and playing and socialising. Being 7, I was off playing with all the other kids. I don't remember alot about that evening, but I do remember that I suddenly felt ,what I now know to be a depersonalization, derealization, feeling of unreality type symptom, which of course made me run to my parents, screaming and crying the whole way. After that, I just had a fear of that symptom happening again. Ive had panic attacks all my life and a common situation for me would be something like a room full of people or maybe being in a very large crowd, but my fear is, that I don't want that derealisation feeling.
It seems to me that the derealisation feeling has caused me to have panic attacks, rather than it JUST being a symptom of a panic attack. Its very confusing to type down exactly what I mean. Whenever I go out now, I just fear that feeling happening to me. I can handle the other symptoms of a panic attack. I have never had trouble breathing or any of the other 'normal' panic attack symptoms. They come on mildly after the derealisation feelings comes in. Sometimes that feeling will come on at the blink of an eye and leave when I rub my eyes. I don't fully understand that symptom and... I don't know.... I would just like to hear what people have to say about it.

Thankyou to anyone who has taken the time to read my badly spelt and confusing story!

Steveo

[Piglet]

A big welcome to the site hun

Have a good look around at our help pages when you get the chance as this symptom is most unpleasant.

It's so hard to say which comes first with anxiety symptoms isn't it - I do know one thing though, when we come to fear a symptom then that seems to be the one that we get plagued with and as soon as we can gain reassurance that all is ok it subsides again.

Have you ever read 'Self-Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes - very reassuring on lots of fronts.

Love Piglet

[RLR]

Derealization is a similar term to depersonalization, and the two are often used interchangeably. However, more specifically, derealization is the feeling that 'nothing is real', while depersonalization is the feeling that one is 'detached' from their body or world. Though these feelings can happen to anyone, they are most prominent in panic disorder, depressive disorders and bipolar disorders. So it's important to assess specifically how you are perceiving the events.

The sensation is often associated with panic threshold for those predisposed because there is a corresponding fear that something dreadful is about to take place. The reason that so many persons who experience the phenomenon have difficulty explaining it to precision is that confusion during the events is often co-encountered. This makes it quite difficult to assimilate logical recall such that it makes sense, particularly since something "unreal" would be difficult to effectively describe under any circumstances. Logical thought is based upon the premise of realism.

Because of your age range and posted history of the events, if you notice these symptoms becoming more pronounced or even bizarre and it is accompanied by more gradual predilection for non-social activities and more reclusive behaviors, then my suggestion would be to undergo more formal evaluation for an underlying cause. This is not to say that anything is wrong with you, so take a breath and relax.

[honeybee]

have you tried cbt???

i'm the same as you, my fear is of my panic attacks... i think cbt could really help you understand what you're feeling more, i went for cbt and realised that most of panic attacks stemmed from the thought "what if i have a panic attack?, i dont want to feel like that agian"... how silly, without that particular thought i wouldn't experiance any at all...

it sounds like your first experiance was a panic attack for whatever reason and instead of it just being an isolated incident its just built up into something huge...

[steveo]

Thanks very much for all your replies. To answer a few of the questions back, I did try CBT for a bit, but it was several years ago and I was alot younger and found it hard to talk about it so I gave up going. I would like to try it again now because I feel that I have no problem talking openly about it. It just confuses me why, back when I was seven, as far as I can remember I was feeling fine and just playing around and all of a sudden it hit me. But maybe deep down that night, I might have had a fear, or tiredness. Is it just me or just tiredness stimulate and increase the chances of getting a panic attack? Im useally ok whereever I go now and whatever I do, but if Im very tired, I worry alot more than I am going to get a panic attack. I wasn't very good last year at Reading Festival. Its impossible to get any sleep at a large music festival like that, so by the last few nights I was useless and missed alot of the bands by going to my tent rather early.
Anyway, Thanks very much for all your replies once again. I will be on this website alot so I am sure I will get to know most of you eventually! Its a lovely feeling to know your not the only person in the world who has these feelings isn't it? For years I thought I was the only one!
Thanks

[RLR]

Okay, the response regarding CBT is not from a qualified physician and I want to make a clear distinction from my own response to your inquiry and there is no way to determine what your status was at age 7, so speculation can lead this matter astray in a real hurry. Again, this particular forum should only have replies from physicians regarding medical concerns. All other support matters can be discussed on the regular forum.

[steveo]

Sorry! Prehaps I should have put this in another section. Thanks for the replies anyway!

[RLR]

Steveo,

Your inquiry was properly placed. The response by honeybee is unqualified and more appropriate for the general support forum.

[honeybee]

really really sorry...