Feeling like a failure: What am I to do?

[Mermaid16]

I'm really struggling at the moment. I am on a cocktail of pills. 50mg Sertraline and 2mg Valium in the morning, 2mg Valium afternoon and 2mg Valium night and 15mg of Mirtazapine. Psych obviously wants to get my anxiety down so that I can get off the Valium (I have been taking for 1 month). He has recently added 25mg dolusepin (older Trycilic). I have only taken the dolusepin two nights. I have done a lot of reading/research and have found that there needs to be cautious cross tapering between the dolusepin and SSRIs (which is fair enough, but I am already on two SSRIs Mirtazapine and Sertraline). Also I read that SSRIs can increase the toxicity of the dolusepin x 10 times). I have decided not to take my dose of dolusepin tonight as I am very anxious and every night before I go to bed I am tears because I am worried I will die in my sleep. The psych wants to try and get rid of the Sertraline and that is why he has added the dolusepin. I can't find any guidelines that agree with what he is doing. Everyone keeps saying to me 'if you want to get better than you need to take the pills'. I have left a message for him early this morning regarding my concerns, but he never got back to me. I'm not really looking for someone to tell me what to do, but just needed to get it down in writing. I feel that this isn't only my anxiety talking and that I have a real concern. The psych will not be impressed, but I'm in tears and scared. Tracy

[tommackent88]

Hi Mermaid, I hope you are feeling a little better this evening.
This cross tapering is nightmare. I hope that you've managed to speak to your doctor and that you have some reassurance
T

[Shazamataz]

Hi Tracy, it's such a struggle with all these meds and you've tried a few now. I'd say you probably ought to push on as you have to do SOMETHING. But you also know yourself and know if something doesn't feel right. I don't know anything about your new med, never heard of it. I can't imagine the Doc would give you a dose that would cause issues with seretonin.

I'm wondering if keeping things simple would be the best approach. What dose of Mirt are you on? Maybe you could increase that to what I was told is therapeutic dose at 30 mg instead of adding a new drug?

I've been through the ringer with meds as well, the list is a long one and I've ended up stuck on diazepam halfway through a taper as was on it for far too long while changing everything else.

I'm not sure what the answer is but it seems all the mucking with meds is making you worse either directly with the chemicals or indirectly with the psychological effects of all this.

I hope you find a way through soon
xx

[dale12345]

I am so sorry you feel this way, I wish I knew what to do. I know how much anxiety sucks, I wish I could be there to help you threw this. I hope you feel better soon. And your not a failure !

[Mermaid16]

Thanks everyone. Had a psych appointment today. He has taken me off the med. Seriously, I could open a friggin chemist with the different drugs I have tried. As I am stable on 50mg of Sertraline, Mirtazapine and valium, he has prescribed a very low dose of an antipsychotic. Not really the road I wanted to go down, but it will be a very, very low dose and will see how it goes. I am really going to concentrate on the self help techniques and maybe I will be able to cope without it.

[Mermaid16]

So f!$king furious with my partner right now. Was telling him how I went at the doctor and said on the medication I'm on (without the new ones that push my anxiety up) I can still get things done, his response was 'what can you do, you can't drive, you can't do anything'. So annoyed, I have worked everyday since this started...grrr think I need to take few big deep breaths...

[dale12345]

Sorry he said that sweetie I hope it gets better.