I've been discharged

[lilac kitten]

My therapist leaves today to go and work with cancer patients. He's been excellent to me over the years and today I was given the option to continue or be discharged - with the option of course that I can be rereferred if I need to be.

He says I have now hit a brick wall where I need to sort my home life out with my partner who has a drink problem, is selfish, lies, and relies on mental abuse to manipulate me. He says he knows its scary and has given me lots of numbers for support groups to get the ball rolling, and told me to start to try and build up a small network of very good friends so I am strong and will not feel alone.

I can talk the talk, but I need the confidence and strength to walk the walk. If my partner isn't going to change - I need to. It will be hard with two young kids and babysitters are in short supply, but where there is a will theres a way.

I'll keep you posted as to how I get on, and will obviously need to come here for support (and cheering up), but I can and will do this for me and the kids. I have and own my own house, and I work so apart from my responsibilities as a mother there's no reason no to start the ball rolling slowly and make a few changes. I will give my partner chance to change as I change, but if he doesn't he will have to make the decision to be part of a great family unit, or talk/slur to a can/pint of lager all the time.

Ruth
x

[KW]

Hi Ruth

Well done for being so positive, look at all those decisions you're making! We will give support to you. You can PM me any time as i check for messages daily.

Good luck with what ever you choose to do.

Takecare


KW

[Karen]

Hi Ruth

It's great to hear you can be so positive and determined to make the necessary changes to your life. It must be very difficult dealing with your partner's drinking and the mental abuse, but you sound like you are making good progress with this.

Of course, everyone will continue to offer you support when you need it and you can talk to us any time.



Briary



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[minny]

Hi Ruth!

It looks like you have found strength you never knew you had!

Stay strong and positive and keep us all posted!

Good luck and best wishes to you!

Love Minny...xx

[seh1980]

[Wow!] Ruth!! Well done to you. You seem to be so positive, which is great. Let us know how it goes, ok?

Sarah

[jo-jo]

Hi there Ruth

What a fantastic post [^][^], so good to hear your positive outlook and that you are ready and prepared to make some changes in your life. You have everything going for you hun, but don't forget we're here if ever you need a little support.

Good luck and best wishes, Jo xx

[lilac kitten]

Thanks for your support guys - it means a lot, and as you know us panicers need to be told how well we are doing.

I have started by making a list of all the little jobs I need to do, sorting out paperwork, etc. I have also written little lists so I don't have a head full of stuff to remember. So a list by the front door of everything to remember - theres me with work stuff, one of my sons with school stuff, and the other son with all his bits for the childminder. I've done one in the kitchen with our names and a list of what I need to put in each lunch box daily, and also devised a routine in the evening so I don't have to rush rush and make myself feel worn out before work in the morning.

Little things but I'm already finding that its helping to be a little more organised.

My partner even took the boys to an indoor playcentre yesterday for two hours to give me some time - not sure how long that will last though as its his drinking that needs to change.

Will keep you updated.

Ruth
x

[Meg]

Hi Ruth,

Glad you're finding organizing yourself a bit easier with your lists.

I really hope that your partner appreciates all that you do and maybe will make his contribution too by cutting down on his drinking considerably.







Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[lainey]

Hi Ruth

Gosh, you are so positive. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you with your partner. I think I will take a leaf out of your book and start doing lists as it's so rewarding seeing all the jobs being ticked off!

Take care chuck!

Elaine x