I really cannot cope anymore...

[Kay8010]

Not sure about the seasons and the effect but I have never been this scared in all my life to be honest....

[Mercime]

Kay, I doubt my words will get through to you due to your anxiety levels, but I'll try anyway.

Please believe me when I tell you that the scenario you have created in your head, a tumour leaning on your spine, has no basis in fact - it honestly doesn't. Tumours don't behave like that, not to mention you would have other symptoms which I won't go into here - but yours really don't fit the bill. Will you believe the colonoscopy?

[RosieBelle]

I know how you feel Kay. It's the constant worry and feeling scared and anxious that is just unbearable at times. Like you, I feel like I can't go on anymore and that it just gets too much and that there's no escape from the anxiety.
You can always vent your thoughts and feelings on here, as we're all in the same boat and know what it's like.

[Kay8010]

Its all so real, im so worried and stressed and worked up! Im sorry if im irritating anyone but im genuinely worried

I really got to pull myself together somehow

---------- Post added at 20:12 ---------- Previous post was at 20:10 ----------

Thanks Rosie, it is anxiety though??! Could be what i fear i cant even tell the difference anymore!

---------- Post added at 20:15 ---------- Previous post was at 20:12 ----------

I will believe the colonoscopy but so afraid of the outcome!

Kay, I doubt my words will get through to you due to your anxiety levels, but I'll try anyway.

Please believe me when I tell you that the scenario you have created in your head, a tumour leaning on your spine, has no basis in fact - it honestly doesn't. Tumours don't behave like that, not to mention you would have other symptoms which I won't go into here - but yours really don't fit the bill. Will you believe the colonoscopy?

[Mercime]

I hear the panic - and if we're as easy as pulling ourselves together, none of us would be here! I think you're under so much pressure and stress, it's no wonder you're struggling.

But I've got no reason to post just to placate you Kay, of course I care, but I wouldn't make things up to make you feel better. Tumours don't behave like this. There would be other unpleasant symptoms. Have a think about my question - will you believe the results of the colonoscopy? Do you think you may doubt them?

You've got a lot on your plate, but you also have married life to look forward to. Why not use this time to make a start on the therapy process, maybe consider meds. You can do this xx

[Kay8010]

I have so much going on. Im worried about my stomach, my back, moving, bm's, wedding its just non stop for me. I will believe the colonoscopy im just petrified of what they find and straight before my wedding too, what a complete mess!

[Kathryn313]

Hi Kaye

I really feel for you as I was (am think I still am) in a similar place. My weight demon works in reverse to yours though. I have to eat more calories than my daily allowance to prove I can put weight on and therefore if I start to lose weight I 'know' it is something sinister. Madness.

Do you think you will go through the colonoscopy? I recall the last one you cancelled as you were to anxious for it?

I know you don't feel CBT is going to be helpful but I was interested if the GP had referred you or they just wanted you to look into it?

If you do get a BC diagnosis next week, why would you not still be able to get married? Nothing will have changed between the scope going in and the scope coming back out again? They will of course recommend you eat more as if you are to fight it then you need healthy nutrition levels.

And my usual question, tell me something that went well today?

[Kay8010]

I know its something like bc, i just know it!

[Kathryn313]

and if it is?

[Kay8010]

Then ill be truely and utterly done!