I really cannot cope anymore...

[Mercime]

Then ill be truely and utterly done!

What exactly would you do?

[Kathryn313]

Well let's hope it doesn't come to that! And from what you have said and what your consultant said it won't do.

You do need to think about how you definately get to go to your colonoscopy as that's the only thing to give you closure on this.

You have already made it through so many bad days, you can make it through another 8 days. Tomorrow has to come, day has to follow night.

[Kay8010]

Pray and hope its curable

What exactly would you do?

---------- Post added at 23:10 ---------- Previous post was at 23:08 ----------

I have to go for the colonoscopy there is no other choice. It wont get better. I just need to be knocked out the sedative they give does nothing for me as i fight it i thi m and then i block my ears and start panting and crying..........

[Pepperpot]

I was not as paranoid and anxious as you are until I got the calprotectin results back on Friday, and since then I am a proper mess. Last year I got married and it was a month after I first had a panic attack - my wedding was not as I wanted it to be as I was too scared to have my hair dyed or eyebrows done, I couldn't be bothered to get my dress altered properly and I refused to have a photographer, something I really regret now. Getting married and moving house are two of life's biggest stresses so no wonder you are in turmoil. Nothing I can say will help - you like me are just going to have to wait it out. Have you had your preassessment for the colonoscopy? Mine is tomorrow. I am terrified. I am terrified of the answers to the questions I am going to ask. I am scared for the procedure too as I had the sigmoidoscopy and that was horrific. x

[Kay8010]

Awful feeling its like my whole world is falling apart and i cant stop it. Yes the appointment before the colonoscopy was ok the dr just asked if I smoked, operations etc then i broke down infront of a senior consultant shaking like a leaf! He felt my stomach and looked at me and said it feels normal but i couldnt stop crying! The letter i got after the appointment to my gp explained the weight loss and my height of anxiety together with the unlikeliness it is bowel cancer but as a pre caution he is doing the colonoscopy, that just fuelled me even more as to why still do it if u so bloody confident! I swear to u its terrible! Yhe procedure was supposed to be done 2 weeks ago but I couldn't go through with it, the stress at home was unbearable, but i will HAVE to prep next week Monday and just shut my eyes and get in and do it.

My gp asked for a calproctein test and never provided one, i assume ur result wasnt good?? I thought whats the point when im having the colonoscopy anyway, right?

[Pepperpot]

Well the doc asked for a poo sample and sent off for a referral at the same time. First sample they lost. How??? Anyway, took a while to get the next sample in cos I never needed the loo in the morning! In the meantime the referral came through. I had a wee infection and rang up for results on friday and while I was on the phone I asked about the calprotectin results - normal is less than 50 - mine is over 300. That is when the panic set in. I have been ill with worry ever since. I am hoping the results are due to a bottle of wine I had the night before but I cant see it being that. I have had wbc in my wee for months and months now, so I have now put two and two together and convinced myself I have some sort of system disease as calprotectin is a leukocyte too. I am really really scared and even told my husband I wanted to split up with him yesterday so he can go find himself someone else who is healthy. I have sat in the house for the past few days and googled every little pain I have had - I am mainly getting pain under my right boob - that is liver pain - you can imagine my distress.
When I had the sigmoidoscopy, the prep was not the nicest as it was hard to do, and it took a while to work. The procedure didnt hurt but I would have rather given birth. What do you mean about the sedation? I have never been sedated

[Mercime]

No more attempts at reassurance from me after this because you're not able to take it in at the moment, you're so anxious. What I'll leave you with are caring but firm words, because everything else isn't helping.

You're catastrophising, picturing the scene in your mind and you're telling us you've got BC. I'm telling you your symptoms don't fit. The doc who examined you said he saw no cause to think it was anything sinister. Let's say he'd left it at that, and refused further investigation. Would you have accepted it, or would you have been beside yourself that he wasn't investigating thoroughly? It can't be both ways X
You've told us you have it, the outcome will be terrible. You've got no basis at all for this fear, other than your anxiety. And lastly, you say that in the scenario you fear, you'd be "truly and utterly done". No you wouldn't, because that wouldn't be an option, you'd find yourself part of a well oiled cog as the Oncologist planned your treatment with you, and got things moving - they don't hang about and as they deal with nothing else but this, they know their stuff. People survive cancer. That's a fact.

I hope you manage to get some peace from the anxiety soon x

[Kay8010]

Weight loss now stands at 22lbs in 11 weeks.......i had the courage to weigh myself. Eating about 1350 cal a day if you add up my intake for the last 3 weeks.......maybe a little more

[Beckybecks]

Weight loss now stands at 22lbs in 11 weeks.......i had the courage to weigh myself. Eating about 1350 cal a day if you add up my intake for the last 3 weeks.......maybe a little more

Hi Kay, I've lost 12 pounds in the last three months through IBS and anxiety. Partly because I keep eliminating food that I thnk might cause problems and partly because my anxiety has completely cancelled my appetite.

But I've been through this before several times and at the back of my mind I just know it'll go when I stop worrying about it. Which I haven't yet......

The calories you eat aren't enough so I'd say that's the main cause for your weight loss. And as I mentioned before, anxiety defnitely eats up the calories and causes weight loss and it sounds like your anxiety is sky high.

---------- Post added at 14:35 ---------- Previous post was at 14:31 ----------

Awful feeling its like my whole world is falling apart and i cant stop it. Yes the appointment before the colonoscopy was ok the dr just asked if I smoked, operations etc then i broke down infront of a senior consultant shaking like a leaf! He felt my stomach and looked at me and said it feels normal but i couldnt stop crying! The letter i got after the appointment to my gp explained the weight loss and my height of anxiety together with the unlikeliness it is bowel cancer but as a pre caution he is doing the colonoscopy, that just fuelled me even more as to why still do it if u so bloody confident! I swear to u its terrible! Yhe procedure was supposed to be done 2 weeks ago but I couldn't go through with it, the stress at home was unbearable, but i will HAVE to prep next week Monday and just shut my eyes and get in and do it.

My gp asked for a calproctein test and never provided one, i assume ur result wasnt good?? I thought whats the point when im having the colonoscopy anyway, right?

It sound like your Dr has agreed to a colonoscopy to help reassure you. He already told you he doesn't suspect anything. Sometimes there's nothing more the medical profession can do for us when we suffer from HA, which is why they send us off for tests.

[Kay8010]

All i can do is wait for the colonoscopy...... take the news and deal with it. Do you really think anxiety in itself causes weight loss even if u are eating?? My dr tends to disagree, so confused

---------- Post added at 15:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:44 ----------

Well the doc asked for a poo sample and sent off for a referral at the same time. First sample they lost. How??? Anyway, took a while to get the next sample in cos I never needed the loo in the morning! In the meantime the referral came through. I had a wee infection and rang up for results on friday and while I was on the phone I asked about the calprotectin results - normal is less than 50 - mine is over 300. That is when the panic set in. I have been ill with worry ever since. I am hoping the results are due to a bottle of wine I had the night before but I cant see it being that. I have had wbc in my wee for months and months now, so I have now put two and two together and convinced myself I have some sort of system disease as calprotectin is a leukocyte too. I am really really scared and even told my husband I wanted to split up with him yesterday so he can go find himself someone else who is healthy. I have sat in the house for the past few days and googled every little pain I have had - I am mainly getting pain under my right boob - that is liver pain - you can imagine my distress.
When I had the sigmoidoscopy, the prep was not the nicest as it was hard to do, and it took a while to work. The procedure didnt hurt but I would have rather given birth. What do you mean about the sedation? I have never been sedated

There is a story i read about very raised calprotectin similar to ur level and the lady had the colonoscopy and it turns out she had crohns disease

Im being sedated so im a little drowsy, i really cant be awake

---------- Post added at 15:47 ---------- Previous post was at 15:46 ----------

Hi Kay, I've lost 12 pounds in the last three months through IBS and anxiety. Partly because I keep eliminating food that I thnk might cause problems and partly because my anxiety has completely cancelled my appetite.

But I've been through this before several times and at the back of my mind I just know it'll go when I stop worrying about it. Which I haven't yet......

The calories you eat aren't enough so I'd say that's the main cause for your weight loss. And as I mentioned before, anxiety defnitely eats up the calories and causes weight loss and it sounds like your anxiety is sky high.

---------- Post added at 14:35 ---------- Previous post was at 14:31 ----------



It sound like your Dr has agreed to a colonoscopy to help reassure you. He already told you he doesn't suspect anything. Sometimes there's nothing more the medical profession can do for us when we suffer from HA, which is why they send us off for tests.

If and a VERY big if the colonoscopy shows nothing then whats the weight loss for? Ill have to look at other tests to rule out other cancers?!