hello, just joined

[ellenclarke81]

Hello, i'm ellen
i feel weird doing this but im on my own and need someone to talk to. I feel to bad letting my parents or boyfriend know cos it brings them down.
im 23 and about 18 months ago my life fell apart for no reason. i started having panic attacks and anxiety. ive been through medication and couselling but none of it has cured me. i had a spell of doing nothing, not even eating or dressing but i got through that by fighting. ive managed to get a part time job in a call centre cos a nice lady at an agency had panic attacks and sorted it out for me, but now im scared im going to lose it again cos i keep calling in sick when i cant handle it.
i just want to know why it isnt getting any easier. ive read all the books and done all the exercises. i dont avoid things ive been fighting like hell, and even though ive managed to do things they just aren't getting any easier. every day feels like a battle to do the simplest things.
ive applied to do a course at university next year, but realistically i cant see how it could happen. I vaguely thought that by next sept id be okay, but this has been happening for nearly two years now and i still cant do things as simple as going to work every day. i feel like ive done everything im supposed to do and its all failed. i cant go on like this, i feel the fight is almost running out in me.

[Karen]

Hi Ellen

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment. It sounds like you have been fighting this really hard and I know it takes a lot of strength to do that. I am fighting depression and it also feels like an uphill struggle.

I'm not sure we are ever completely 'cured' but just find ways of managing the anxiety and panic.

Well done for working part time and applying for university. The people here are all very friendly and I am sure you will get a lot of support.



Briary



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[ellenclarke81]

Thankyou. Its nice to even be able to contact other people who know how i feel. I knew they existed before but have never spoken to any of them.

[minny]

Hi Ellen!

Sorry things have been rough for you lately but help is around. Dont give up just yet! Youve proved you have strength by applying for a job and a place at university so dont be hard on yourself.
You say youve tried everything! Sometimes we can all try that little bit too hard which puts undue pressure on ourselves. We then panic about failure.
You need to be nice to yourself and find a way that suits you to relax. Pamper yourself a little and try not to put any pressure on yourself. Easier said than done but when you finally hid on a relaxation method, then trying to solve your issues becomes a little easier.

The people here are wonderful and will support you!

Good luck

Love Minny..xxx

[seh1980]

hello Ellen,

Welcome to the site!! I'm sure you will get loads of support here. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to try to overcome your panic attacks. I have found that the key to recovery is patience. You are doing all the right things so I'm sure you will start to get better in time!!

Sarah

[nomorepanic]

Hi Ellen

Welcome aboard.

I have to say that I read your post and could see a lot of me in what you said. I went through a phase of trying everything and nothing seemed to help and I couldn't see end there was to it.

It helped me by writing this site and getting in contact with fellow sufferers as we can all support and help each other.

Have you tried something called Rescue Remedy - it takes the edge off panic when it is really bad.

You are doing well to work and it will give you some structure in your day but I appreciate that it is horrid feeling that at work.

I hope you get some great advice here and we will help all we can.


Nicola

[jo-jo]

Hi Ellen

A big welcome to the forum As hard as it may seem now, with time and patience things and and will get better for you.

Remember, you're never alone and we're always here to support you on your road to recovery.

Best wishes, Jo x

[Meg]

Dear Ellen,

Welcome to the site.

Well done for finding us here and looking for your own support .

I'm assuming that you have had a check up and you are definately suffering with panic and anxiety .

Do tell us a bit more about your circumstances leading up to the events when it all started and what help you've had so far.

What do you fear now in your day to day life.





Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[jill]

Hi Ellen

Welcome to the site,
You have come to the right place. There are lots of
nice people here who will give you lots of support and
advice.
With alot of hard work support and time things WILL
get better.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

May your troubles be less
and your blessings be more
and nothing but happiness
come through your door..

[mico]

Hi Ellen

Anxiety's frustrating at the best of times. Sometimes you just get so down about it that you can't see where it will end. The thing is, is that there can be an end, even if that's not clear to you now. When you are feeling any type of emotion, your thinking becomes distorted and sometimes irrational, which means whatever you're thinking isn't necesarilly true.

University could be a good oppurtunity for you, so you may want to leave that door open, and having a goal like that can sometimes be a good motivator. Try to keep your thoughts as positive as possible, you won't get better overnight, but by the times the years out, you may find you've made a big improvement. It's far from easy - as you've found out - but certainly is possible, you just need to believe in yourself.

Oh, and welcome!

mico