Split with partner, completely devestated

[SLA]

Hey Lucinda, thank you so much for your kind words, it makes it all worth it. I'm upbeat most of the time. Maybe 60%. The past few days have been rough.

I got bored with it too, but I found a way/technique that works for me.

At various points in the day I will allow myself a few minutes to just enjoy and do one thing. I say to myself... "I am going to spend the next 2 minutes doing... X"

It might be looking at the trees in the local park, or completely enjoying a cup of tea and a biscuit.

My guide when doing this is:

It doesn’t matter what you do, just do it.
It doesn’t matter how long you do it for, if its 20 seconds great, if it’s 5 minutes superb.
It doesn’t matter if you get distracted.
It doesn’t matter if you think.

There is no pressure. No outcome to be attained. No reason to do it other than to bring your attention to whatever it is you are doing.

The reason mindfulness gets lost on people is that it is something which really requires practise and exercise. If you have spent years lost in thought, you don’t just snap out of it.

But with a bit off practise here and there, the benefits are huge, and it has single-handedly lifted me out of my worst days, and turned things around.


I mentioned this before, but Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn was a beacon of shining light during my depression many years ago.

I got goosebumps just writing that, and remembering it.

[Lucinda07]

"The reason mindfulness gets lost on people is that it is something which really requires practise and exercise. If you have spent years lost in thought, you don’t just snap out of it."

The last sentence made me laugh - that's me!
I've read Mark Williams book & have just done a body scan - which reduced my fatigue.
I'll have to try Mr Zinn's book - I did not know it helped so much with your depression. Thats good to hear.
Thanks for all the tips, & good luck to you

[SurfingWaves]

Some really great posts on this thread, Terry the links you have posted are very useful so thank you, It is interesting that after practicing mindfulness it can be actually analysed with a brain scan, it just goes to show how powerful a tool this is.

SLA its great that you are practicing mindfulness too, and being 100% into what you are doing, appreciating that moment, that is true presence and the best way to live life! whats great is that the more we practice, that focus and presence will deepen, like you said, even a few minutes can turn a bad day round!

I think there should be a dedicated mindfulness sub forum (and Terry your resource thread should be stickied there) on this site because it is so helpful with a multitude of anxiety and stress disorders.


By the way, the book that got me out of a dark hole years ago and introduced me to mindfulness was The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Actually cried with happiness when I realised there was a 'now' haha! Joining the present moment after months of constant mental torture felt like a holiday !

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