Need to write a letter as part of my therapy

[hanshan]

Objectively, children can be pretty awful creatures to be around a lot of the time. I guess that's where the parenting thing comes in, to overcome that. But don't worry if you don't have it (at least for other people's kids). I suspect lots of people don't, and just do their best to organize their lives accordingly.

[KeeKee]

Thanks again hanshan.
I do wish I was different, a lot of people make friends through their children, go on play dates and the likes and I just can't as being around loud children makes me feel so angry I verge on tears. Even just going out with my daughter and niece is really, really stressful so I dread being asked to babysit which makes me feel awful.

[Sunflower2]

My mother hated other kids, she would avoid spending any time around them unless it was for me and my brother. We didn't go on 'play dates' or any soft play areas. But she loves me and my brother completely unconditionally. I am the same that I don't see all the fuss over babies and children. I'd much rather play with a cat or dog!! But that doesn't stop me wanting children one day because when they are your own it is different, as you must know!

I don't think that is abnormal at all.. but maybe that means I'm weird too!

[KeeKee]

Yeah I strongly dislike soft plays although I did take her quite a bit when she was younger. Outside play parks though are an absolute no-no.

Being around other children makes me feel really low it's hard to describe. It's very strange and I too would rather be around cats and dogs.

My boyfriend doesn't 'like' children either but he isn't like me and feels low being around them, he just has no interest and doesn't think they're cute. I often wonder if it's just my area and the fact all children appear to be rude, loud and cheeky and it's hideous to witness 'innocent' children act this way. But who knows, maybe I'm just a grouch.

[bertha]

Not all of us like the same things it is as simple as that and I would not start worrying now about when your daughter might want friends back wait until the situation arises.

I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable whether it is relatives or strangers it is often that you are trying to appear that everything is okay and you are enjoying their company when actually you are smiling and looking at the clock hoping they are going soon.

I understand how you feel about the responsibility of other people's children while in your care some parents are laid back others are not and I often felt like that but I managed to raise adult children and have their friends round when they got older it often made me panic and feel anxious but I did do it so yes I think you are being hard on yourself okay

[KeeKee]

Thank you bertha. I'm glad I'm not the only one then. As I say a couple of my therapists have said they feel the same (to a lesser degree) but I was just wondering if they were just saying it to make me feel better. Maybe not though given a few of you lot also feel the same.

There was an article on the Daily Mail (I should really avoid that) about a similar thing and a lot of the comments also said the same.

I think what's upset me the most is my relatives thinking "It's out of order" that I prefer animals to children (well humans in general not just children). It had me thinking I was a horrible person as to be fair I think the reason I love animals so much (excluding the cuteness) is because they are so innocent, but so are children! I worry I've got something 'against' children and it scares me.

[pulisa]

I think you are really doing yourself down here but this is probably because you are low and are ready to criticise yourself for any perceived "fault". You are certainly not a "horrible person" but are very hard on yourself. You've successfully persevered with a course of therapy which can't have been easy when you are feeling very depressed. Your relatives don't know what they are talking about-don't let them make you feel bad. Most people aren't that keen on other people's children but just pretend.

[KeeKee]

Thank you Pulisa. You are probably right. My self esteem has become lower than I ever thought possible too.

I'm glad I mentioned this then, I'm very reluctant to discuss it with anyone other than 'professionals' so feel relieved a little.

[hanshan]

I once knew someone who couldn't stand being near a cat. She wasn't frightened by them but she felt ill if one came near her. We're all different. If you know who you are and can find others who accept that, then you are well on your way to accepting yourself. So don't feel down!

[KeeKee]

Thank you hanshan. I know a couple of people who don't like cats. You're right we're all different and thank you. I hate who I am and do believe if I can find people like me I may see myself in a different light. Hopefully that day comes sooner rather than later. Thanks again.