Hi All,
I've not been here since April 2014 but a few things have changed and I wanted to get some advice.
I was really struggling with anxiety and depression a couple of years ago, which seemed to be due to stress at work and a particularly unsympathetic manager. Each time I tried to discuss my worries with her and got upset, she would huff and puff and make me feel even more stupid. Eventually, I stopped trying, things got worse at home with my partner and it got to the point that something needed to change. I changed jobs (within the same company) and had CBT, following a long stint on Citalopram.
CBT was the best thing I've done and I can recognise the signs now before I spiral out of control but recently I've found myself unable to cope. There have been changes at work which have increased my anxiety levels as I'm not convinced my job is safe. In a meeting recently, having been off for a couple of days with flu, someone spoke to me in a really aggressive way and I completely lost it. I cried and told everyone how I was feeling. The person in question rolled her eyes, turned away and hasn't spoken to me since.
I've raised it with my manager who is fully aware of my struggles in the past but he seems reluctant to address it. I spend my nights at home worrying about it, my days at work crying and I just can't think straight to pull myself together. If I go to the doctors, I'm convinced I'll be signed off and because of the job security worries, I think being off will make it worse. I have a holiday coming up in just under two weeks. If I'm still feeling like this when I get back, I'll go. In the meantime, I don't know what to do or who to speak to so I thought I'd come back here and see if anyone has been in the same boat with work and how they've coped.
Ange x