Transocd?

[NCoxie]

Hi Beatroon. Thankyou for replying.

God I'm so low. I cannot think of anything else. Instead of living and being me and taking part in life I'm stuck in my head arguing with myself (for and against -which freaks me out but I can't stop!) I claw through old memories, thinking I have evidence , attaching importance to back up the thought. Then I try to get rid of it but I cannot distract myself. My head is always at me. "Oh look at that good looking guy on tv." "Do you fancy him or do you want to be him?" These type of thoughts are quick as a flash and make me panic. Like it's a secret scary thing.

Doesn't that sound crazy?

I feel like the world has shrunk to just me and these thoughts and I'm trapped in them.
This theme comes and goes ( sometimes it comes back for months) and sometimes the question changes slightly and I panic all over again. Does anyone feel Urges to act on their thoughts although they think they actually don't want to? That's also scary. I don't feel like me anymore, like I've lost myself.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hello there,

As a fellow OCDer, with lots of varying themes which rotate, I can say that the amount of rumination you are both doing on your TOCD theme sounds very much like OCD. It's like worshipping at an altar of doubt. The whole 'What if I want to be XYZ/punch XYZ/jump off a bridge? But I don't!' and the resultant distress is indicative of faulty brain chemistry, not a genuine hidden desire to be/do XYZ.

But the reassurance from me ends here, because as we all know, the way through the obsessions is to gradually stop from reassurance seeking, and retrain your brain to stop distressing you. I would recommend the finding of a good OCD therapist who can help you, and doing some mindfulness. Terry has created an excellent mindfulness tools resource which you can access through the links in his signature.

Good luck!

And you've got an excellent thread talking about HOCD and the differences with homosexuality. This is a great thread for a TOCD theme too.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=195010