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Thread: Harsh words from Father

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    123

    Harsh words from Father

    Stayed round Dads last night, didn't want to be alone, in the morning about 9:00am he says to me "when are you leaving" "I like my space" "You need to deal with these problems on your own".

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    3,250

    Re: Harsh words from Father

    My old mum is a bit like that, she's from the generation who were expected to just tolerate everything without complaining, in the days when you only went to the doctor if you were physically ill. I guess it's how people are raised as to how they react to other people's problems.

    ISB x
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    280

    Re: Harsh words from Father

    Maybe he says so because he also feels a little bit guilty about you feeling bad, and it comes out in that way. He's probably doing the best he can, even though those exact words might stand out a bit.

    Anyway you're not dealing with your problems entirely on your own, you've got this support forum, you've got the opportunity to visit your gp, etc.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    473

    Re: Harsh words from Father

    my mum has some classic lines such as:

    "its horrible having a son whos mentally ill although I know its not my fault"
    "maybe you got ill because you have no social skills"
    and the other day..
    "I feel sad for your wife because you wont be able to do things with her she has to go out on her own"

    some parents just don't seem very "parenty" and supportive.
    Last edited by skymaid; 05-11-16 at 17:06. Reason: typo
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    280

    Re: Harsh words from Father

    Quote Originally Posted by skymaid View Post
    "I feel sad for your wife because you wont be able to do things with her she has to go out on her own"
    It's a put-down but it's really a good idea to do different things from time to time. I had a colleague who went on golf trips to Spain for a week, while the hubby was at home (he wasn't into golf).

    I don't really have any advice how to respond to those kinds of comments, I always find myself to be dumbfounded and silent if this happens, but if I come up with something good and clever, I'll post again.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    524

    Re: Harsh words from Father

    our relatives are often our cruelest/harshest critics.

    sometimes it's because they are ignorant to our illness, they don't understand, or they simply lack the skills to offer us the right support so they resort to negative comments.

    you aren't on your own, Brian. you are surrounded on here by people in the same boat.

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