Do things ever get better?

[Maggy May]

I am making an effort to get out of this rutt I am in and find the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't help thinking it's just going to be a train! I am going to see a psychiatrist privately as the NHS is just taking too long so I hope I will officially get diagnosed but I am pretty sure it's GAD.
I asked my gp to change my meds as I am still on the 40mg of Citalopram that I was put on in my mid teens from when I was extremely depressed as it's not helping with my anxiety but she does not want to mess with my meds until I see a psychiatrist so I feel I am in a vicious cycle.
I have a constant knot in my stomach, I am constantly tired and dizzy and avoid everything. I also have a wierd metallic smell in my nose which I have been told is also due to the anxiety. I want to get back to work now my cluster headaches are under control and I have been told I have to just live with the chronic daily headaches but my anxiety is holding me back as although I know the routine will help, I don't think it's possible for me to do my job well in the state I am in.

I went to the gym to try and get out there and try and push myself, but I ended up getting panicked and having an episode and vomited in front of everyone which has really set me back.

The psychologist I saw pretty much said everyone is different and there is no such thing as normal. We ended up just going around in circles as she kept telling me I'm normal and just didn't get where I was coming from.

I can't help feeling I just cannot cope with another condition I cannot get rid of. I don't want to have to make a constant effort to mask it, or constantly distract myself. I want to be able to relax and be able to do nothing like 'normal' people, I don't want to have to rely on more medication. I know I need to help myself but I just have no energy and mindfulness that I have been using the last few months just isn't giving me any relief.

Since loosing my grandparents in the same month a few month ago I am just constantly evaluating myself. I am 26, still live with my parents who do pretty much everything for me, I have no interest in having a relationship, I don't go out and am full of excuses when asked. I avoid the phone, I avoid emails I just wouldn't be able to cope without my parents I would just sleep all day which is pathetic at my age.

Sorry for huge post I just feel really lost and worry that this is it and I will never get over this and live my life.

[PunkyFish]

I am making an effort to get out of this rutt I am in and find the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't help thinking it's just going to be a train! I am going to see a psychiatrist privately as the NHS is just taking too long so I hope I will officially get diagnosed but I am pretty sure it's GAD.
I asked my gp to change my meds as I am still on the 40mg of Citalopram that I was put on in my mid teens from when I was extremely depressed as it's not helping with my anxiety but she does not want to mess with my meds until I see a psychiatrist so I feel I am in a vicious cycle.
I have a constant knot in my stomach, I am constantly tired and dizzy and avoid everything. I also have a wierd metallic smell in my nose which I have been told is also due to the anxiety. I want to get back to work now my cluster headaches are under control and I have been told I have to just live with the chronic daily headaches but my anxiety is holding me back as although I know the routine will help, I don't think it's possible for me to do my job well in the state I am in.

I went to the gym to try and get out there and try and push myself, but I ended up getting panicked and having an episode and vomited in front of everyone which has really set me back.

The psychologist I saw pretty much said everyone is different and there is no such thing as normal. We ended up just going around in circles as she kept telling me I'm normal and just didn't get where I was coming from.

I can't help feeling I just cannot cope with another condition I cannot get rid of. I don't want to have to make a constant effort to mask it, or constantly distract myself. I want to be able to relax and be able to do nothing like 'normal' people, I don't want to have to rely on more medication. I know I need to help myself but I just have no energy and mindfulness that I have been using the last few months just isn't giving me any relief.

Since loosing my grandparents in the same month a few month ago I am just constantly evaluating myself. I am 26, still live with my parents who do pretty much everything for me, I have no interest in having a relationship, I don't go out and am full of excuses when asked. I avoid the phone, I avoid emails I just wouldn't be able to cope without my parents I would just sleep all day which is pathetic at my age.

Sorry for huge post I just feel really lost and worry that this is it and I will never get over this and live my life.

Hi

I could of wrote this post myself a few months ago. A few years ago I was diagnosed with GAD and was put on medication which did help. I'm in my 20's and like you I have no interest in having a relationship and I still live at home with my parents. My parents have been a godsend and I have no idea what I would do without them. I'm also always evaluating myself too. A few months ago my anxiety became out of control to a point where I've been off from work for a while now. My motivation went and I too wanted to sleep all day, my mind was racing with thoughts, I would break down and cry whenever I was on my own and I tended to make excuses to get out of things. I stopped exercising, stayed in my bedroom all day, stopped socialising and my mood became depressed. Basically it was like I couldn't be bothered anymore to fight the anxiety. My anxiety made me tired, dizzy, sick and I felt ill most of the time. I was eventually put on an anti depressants (not Citalopram) and after three months of being on them, they've changed my life. I'm back to my old self, I exercise, I'm happy again, I'm motivated to make changes in my life and my anxiety is so much less that I'm able to cope with it.

Sometimes medication is needed to boost you back up and help to ease the anxiety. I would rather be on medication which works and be happy for the rest of my life rather than not be on medication and be miserable. There is many medications out there that can help ease anxiety which can then help you live a normal life. It may take time to get the right medication and the right dosage but it honestly can help. Just because you're on medication at the moment doesn't mean you will need it for the rest of your life. If you're not really into medication why not try a course of cognitive behavioural therapy for coping with anxiety.

If the Citalopram is not helping, you may need a change in medication. If you're happy in taking medication for anxiety then you need to address this issue with your Psychiatrist. Sometimes going back to work can help with anxiety as it can be a welcome distraction. However if you don't feel ready to work then I would say concentrate on getting your anxiety under control.
What helps me is having a routine so I make myself get up and go to bed at a certain time, I exercise at a certain time and I force myself to get out and about (even if I don't want to). This helped me to get out of the rut of staying indoors all day. I found that forcing myself to do things even when I really didn't want to eventually eased the anxiety. If this is a concern to you, take it slowly, so for example why not start by simply going to the gym for maybe just 5 or 10 minutes a day and then trying to build yourself up to say 15 to 20 minutes a day. Have you considered exercising at home. There are many workout videos on YouTube which I find are brilliant.

On my bad days I felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel but honestly now I can say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may take time but you will get there. Take things slow and focus on your recovery. GAD is a mental illness which can be controlled. Concentrate on your upcoming appointment with the Psychiatrist and explain everything about how you feel and your symptoms and take it from there.

If you ever need to chat PM me. All the best.

[georgewing]

Hello i would sugest you to start aplying law of attraction be gratitude everyday and read motivational videos .I know you will say hey i know this things but dont work .You must decide and foce yourself to stop thinking at the bad things that happen to you .Because in this universe its about what energy you give outside .If you give bad energy you will receive more

[Maggy May]

Thanks for the replies both, I am hoping once I get my AD's switched out I can start making some progress. It's good to hear that someone who felt like me at one point has made good progress and gone back to a healthy life.

I had a letter through today from the DWP with an appointment for an assessment as I am currently off sick from work so claiming ESA. This has filled me with dread as I am not sure what this is for as I have been sending in my sick notes. It also means I will have to meet with strangers who will be assessing me and judging me which I am not looking forward to.

[Buster70]

Hi , I had my first episode at seventeen through trying drugs it lasted a year or so but I got better on my own , I was ok until 29 then had another bad year after my dad died anti depressants made me worse so again I got through it myself , another ten years , two kids and a hell of a lot of good times passed before another bad patch which I'm trying to get over , I guess what I'm trying to get across is it is part of you but you can get on and enjoy life , if I told you I could give you ten years of feeling good you would jump at the chance , what I've learned is the harder you try the less chance you will get better you just have to do small bits and build up your confidence , you realy can forget how you used to feel , when you stop trying it will happen , take care .

[Maggy May]

Thanks buster,
I will try to worry about it less and just start with the little things.

[SLA]

What are your eating habits like?

Knot in stomach. Dizzyness. Being sick at the gym. All seem like signs of poor diet, or not eating/drinking enough.

[Maggy May]

I have ceoliac disease so my diet is gluten free and pretty healthy, I drink plenty of water and don't drink alcohol at all. Vomiting is part of my getting anxious. When I get extremely anxious I get very hot, sweaty, dizzy, shaky and vomit which is what happened at the gym and many other places so exercise was not the issue. I have a home gym which I am fine with I was just trying to push myself to go places I am not comfortable. I have been fully checked out by doctors who have advised this is an anxiety type thing as all my bloods and tests are normal.

[Dasani95]

Hi Maggy May. I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety like this :/
Though my circumstances aren't the same as yours, I am also going through similar feelings. I'm 21 years old. "Will I have to live like this forever?" is a constant thought in my head.
I am meeting with my doctor later this week to get on anxiety/depression medication. I hope for you and I we both find a solution or at least can better cope with it. We're not alone & I am sure we can work through this.

[Maggy May]

Hi Maggy May. I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety like this :/
Though my circumstances aren't the same as yours, I am also going through similar feelings. I'm 21 years old. "Will I have to live like this forever?" is a constant thought in my head.
I am meeting with my doctor later this week to get on anxiety/depression medication. I hope for you and I we both find a solution or at least can better cope with it. We're not alone & I am sure we can work through this.

Hey,
I hope the meeting with your doctor goes well.

I am trying to sort a appointment with a psychiatrist which is proving to be more difficult that I expected. The anxiety combined with my other health problems has just taken over my life now. I spend all day in bed and even thinking about leaving results in tears and sheer panic.

This was my though process in just leaving the house to 'get out' and see a friend.
It's one worry after the other. Will the car break down? I need fuel I will have to go pay in a shop and it might be busy. What if I panic and have an episode where I vomit in public? What if the car doesn't start again? What if I get in an accident or have to deal with a confrontation? What If my friend needs to go out and I don't have enough time to psych myself up to get home?
I know that most of this is irrational and shouldn't have more than a seconds thought which is just more frustrating!

I had a spot on my scalp a few days ago, which is a pretty normal thing. Since then I have been freaking out and wanting to shave all my hair off in case I have a melanoma on my scalp which is just ridiculous! If I know it's stupid then why does it continue to go through my thoughts.

I'm just in a cycle of despair. I can't live like this. I can't spend everyday in bed relying on my family and other people. I just can't cope I'm starting to feel how I did many years ago when I had a bout of major depression but I never used to worry like I do now back then.