I'm done with trying.

[mrjonesmcr]

If i'm ever in the Manchester i'd be happy to meet up for a brew or a beer.
I know how it feels to be lonely as i've said before, and i'm often lonely now, but since I got together with my boyfriend things have been better.
I dont have a 'best friend'. I'd love a really good, close friend, but I'm resigned to the fact it wont happen now. It doesn't get me down any more, i just try and be grateful for what I do have I guess.
I'm more relaxed about it now i'm older.
The increased fear of missing out is one of those things i'd put down to social media mostly. I know you are a fan of instagram and your pics are great, but I imagine sometimes it can make you feel worse. I hate checking Facebook and seeing people 'having fun' all the time when i'm at home. But then I remind myself that a lot of the time, I dont want to go out anyway, or when you dig deeper, they aren't having the amazing lives you think they are.

I also agree with what a lot of the others have said about enjoying your own company first and learning to love yourself (sorry if this sounds corny to you). You seem like a great guy and fun to be around, you need to stop giving yourself a hard time. Relax a little bit, keep doing all the things you enjoy.
Believe it or not, not everyone has a solid group of friends they've known since school. A lot drift apart as they have different paths in life and have different interests. A lot of people get fed up of being let down/disappointed and go in search of new friends. It's not too late.
Are there any anxiety groups close by that you could go to? You'd be surprised at the types and varieties of people that go to them. or do some more volunteering? Maybe at cats protection or a homeless charity?
Hope you have a better day today x

Thanks Carrie, I'd like that.

I'd love nothing more than a close friend, the best friend route has probably gone and that's something I can accept, I've never felt the need to have a 'best' friend but a close friend is something I've love as I've never been lucky to have one, but I fear that's gone too, I could make an acquaintance but be stuck at that level forever.

I can also accept that not everyone has a solid group of friends they've known since school, but they have a solid group nonetheless from university, work etc. I can also accept not everyone has this perfect, utopia like life but I still look at them and feel envious. I tried a social media blackout for a couple of weeks ago quite recently, it didn't help in the slightest. I've tried not 'caring' and 'enjoying' my own company too, but it kept coming to the need to have conversation, kinship with people. If I'd had this in earlier years, I could probably have more fun on my own, I'd be more relaxed about my situation.

I'm looking into more voluntary work, yes. Although it may become my only voluntary work, I'm considering my future at the charity shop for unrelated reasons. I'm sure there are anxiety/depression groups, in fact there is one close to me, I'm trying to pluck the courage to go. And I'm starting a course next week, my enthusiasm for it isn't particularly high though. x

---------- Post added at 15:58 ---------- Previous post was at 15:51 ----------

As others have said, you can't put an age limit on starting new things or making friends. I am not in touch with any of my childhood friends. However, my friends I do have now I didn't meet until in my 40s. It's all relative, if you plan to fail, then you will almost definitely, fail. Get out to see concerts, gigs, movies.

Maybe make a plan for next year, to do something you really enjoy/enjoyed. Next year is coming anyway, so you can either make plans to make it good or sit the time out and let it pass you by and end up with the same feelings you have now a year from now?

Well, so they say, but I'm unconvinced, they might not be incorrect, it just sounds like something that is easy to say with hindsight and being older.

I plan to succeed, despite what I've said, I still have this desire to keep going, I'm either naive or a masochist. However, when you've failed so often, it's only natural you lose confidence and hope, which has happened big time. Especially when others appear to succeed with little to no effort. I've worked so hard in the past to make friends, to put myself 'out there'. In the past, I could dust myself off and go on again with minimal to no lost confidence.

---------- Post added at 16:07 ---------- Previous post was at 15:58 ----------

Why is that important?

Life isn't a race. Who gives a f**k where you are in relation to other people.

These are constraints you are imposing on yourself.

Make your own rules for life and live by them. Live it how you want.

If you want friends or relationships go out and make them. If you don't, then enjoy that too.

But FFS enjoy life while its happening!!! Its going past right now!

I do, maybe it's stupid, but I care a lot. Life isn't a race, I will accept that, but most people at this stage have something going for them, even if it's something so small, it's hard to find that one thing in my case. When I thought I was (mostly) free of anxiety and could move forward with my life, depression knocked me for six, it's hard not to feel left behind because of it.

I want nothing more than friends, I don't want a relationship particularly, but I could probably get that rather than a group of friends, but my heart wouldn't be in it, friends is the void I need more. But it would be naive to think it's so easy making friends as people say it is, especially if you're naturally introverted and want a true connection rather than just befriending and enjoying the company of any person.

[randomforeigner]

... I hate checking Facebook and seeing people 'having fun' all the time when i'm at home. But then I remind myself...

Me too, it ended up with me disconnecting everybody (partially because I don't want to do Messenger and thus couldn't reply if people wrote, which they didn't, but anyway). Now I only subscribe to a number of feeds with inspirational messages, some groups where people post photos of sites, photos of dogs, photos of people showing what they have handicraft-ed and discussing various methods for it (sewing, knitting, crocheting problems etc.) Anyway, the search function in FB is a bit tricky, it's not easy to get good suggestions out of that piece of software. It often suggests that one should "know" people I have no idea who they are, or join clubs on subjects I'm not at all interested in. But once you find one (1) club that is OK, the search algorithm works to suggest more of the same on the right panel.