Intense fear of schizophrenia 💔

[Twirlywoo]

I have developed such a intense fear of developing or having Schizophrenia and I can't seem to shake it at all.

My anxiety is on such high alert I keep seeing things out the corner of my eye. I hear things like white noise in interpret them as something else.
It's crippling me and I'm so scared of being on the edge of loosing my mind that I obsess constantly about 'what if I am developing it' 'what if I start hullucinating or hearing things'.

This attachment is taking up so much of my days I just feel so down and upset constantly checking and reassuring myself daily.

The past two morning I have been in a state of dream but fully aware that I'm awake during this dreaming state? Like at any moment I could open my eyes and know I wasn't asleep?? This has scared the shit out of me. Once I am awake I don't feel like I've slept much at all.

I'm so tired and drained from all this and still don't get to see a therapist for another week and half :(

I don't know what im gaining from this but I need to write it down and vent my fears somewhere.

[butterchops1]

Hey,
I have had this flare. It was horrible - it leads you to question everything. Firstly, I would suggest that the reason you're feeling dreamy and maybe like you're losing touch with reality (it's terrifying!!!! I've had it!) is because you're suffering with derealization or depersonalisation. Neither are pleasant but both are very, very common. It's a safety mechanism our brains uses when we are under high levels of stress or very nervous. They can make everything seem dreamy, cartoony, unreal and fuzzy. Secondly, let's address the biggest fear - that you're going to develop schizophrenia. I am lucky enough to have a close friend who works in the psychiatric field and she explained that people who develop this illness are unaware that they are losing touch with reality. They also become withdrawn to the point of reclusive and take little care in their appearance or basic needs. I really think that if you were becoming schizophrenic, you wouldn't be thinking that you are. Please, pm me if this doesn't settle your mind. I have lots of info and links that helped me understand the illness properly and how it develops which in turn made me not fear it. This is just your anxiety playing tricks on you. Xx

---------- Post added at 10:29 ---------- Previous post was at 10:27 ----------

Also on a funnier note-when I had this flare I think I drove everyone else slightly nuts because I kept checking if they could hear everything I could!!!!

[mrose]

Hey there,

I'm currently suffering from this as well I believe. I can totally relate to the feeling of unreality and questioning everything around you. This has really flared up my anxiety about entering a psychosis or something. Today I spoke my psychiatrist on medication. I'm currently on 20mg escitalopram but we decided to start a taper as this probably isn't helping much. But then he mentioned maybe in the future I could try a low dose of anti-psychotic medications and this really scared the hell out of me. I want to add that my psychiatrist is a nice guy who does not at all shove medications down my throat. But still, the fact that I could benefit from these type of medications is hard to digest for me. Thankfully I'm starting ERP therapy soon so I'm hoping this will relieve this crippling anxiety.

[randomforeigner]

I once saw, not too long ago, a tv program about a guy who had smoked hash as a teenager and he had, although he had since stopped, developed such a sense of unreality. Don't recall how the program ended, though, I think he recovered.

A quote from the program: "One day I stood and tried to remove my fillings with a cork screw to get the microphones out. A very unmanageable existence".

There was a link that I found now, when looking up the above reference. There are obviously magazines for everything: http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjournals.org/ Maybe you can find something useful in it.

[Twirlywoo]

I literally cannot see a way through this ����
Last night the thoughts and images were flying through my head at 100mph my anxiety was through the roof. I didn't sleep at all, felt like I was permanently in a dream state. It was awful. The thoughts were so bizarre and crazy almost to the point I don't believe this be anxiety at all..The thoughts were so fast it was like one minute I was thinking of aliens attacking the planet then the next breath lego for Christmas. The anxiety I felt with each thought kept my adrenaline pumping all night and now I'm so exhausted I could. Ur.

[SLA]

Your brain is waaay over-stressed. Start by not beating yourself up for worrying. You got yourself into this mess, but for now just accept it.

Do everything you can to assist your brain in recovering. Focus on something simple like watching TV for 30 minutes. Cutout all caffeinated beverages as this will only make it worse. Go for a brisk walk...

It doesnt have to be for long, just give yourself breathing space.

Nothing you describe remotely points to schizophrenia. You are just in a state of perpetual panic ,anxiety and exhaustion.

It's natural to feel so detached from reality in that state.

[Twirlywoo]

Your brain is waaay over-stressed. Start by not beating yourself up for worrying. You got yourself into this mess, but for now just accept it.

Do everything you can to assist your brain in recovering. Focus on something simple like watching TV for 30 minutes. Cutout all caffeinated beverages as this will only make it worse. Go for a brisk walk...

It doesnt have to be for long, just give yourself breathing space.

Nothing you describe remotely points to schizophrenia. You are just in a state of perpetual panic ,anxiety and exhaustion.

It's natural to feel so detached from reality in that state.

Thanks you so much for your reply.
It just seems so hard to believe I can imagine all these crazy and horrible thoughts yet it be down to anxiety?
The alien business? The checking to see if I know my surroundings? The thoughts going none stop 100mph and seeing such weird and horrible images behind my eyes?
Surely it's not normal?
I feel so lost and emotional it's horrible

[SLA]

All completely normal. Been there bought the t-shirt.

The alien thing is mild in comparison to some of the crazy stuff mine came up with.

When you are stressed and vulnerable, the brain starts mis-firing.

Reread, and do what I suggested.

[Twirlywoo]

Thank you I shall do that

[NoraB]

Thank you I shall do that

Actually DO IT. Don't just type the words. Give as much energy to changing and distracting your thoughts as you give to thinking you have schizophrenia and you WILL see a difference. Time to do some hard work m'dear. You can come on here for as much assurance as you like but it won't change anything. It's temporary comfort.

All the best X