I have developed such a intense fear of developing or having Schizophrenia and I can't seem to shake it at all.
My anxiety is on such high alert I keep seeing things out the corner of my eye. I hear things like white noise in interpret them as something else.
It's crippling me and I'm so scared of being on the edge of loosing my mind that I obsess constantly about 'what if I am developing it' 'what if I start hullucinating or hearing things'.
This attachment is taking up so much of my days I just feel so down and upset constantly checking and reassuring myself daily.
The past two morning I have been in a state of dream but fully aware that I'm awake during this dreaming state? Like at any moment I could open my eyes and know I wasn't asleep?? This has scared the shit out of me. Once I am awake I don't feel like I've slept much at all.
I'm so tired and drained from all this and still don't get to see a therapist for another week and half :(
I don't know what im gaining from this but I need to write it down and vent my fears somewhere.