I too suffer from this Phobia

[Bigboyuk]

While I am always pleased to meet new people I have a fear (that isn't unfounded) Of losing some one I have grown fond off well sadly I think this is happening yet again to me and yes I blame my self for it. I met some one on here in August this year pm messages to start with, then they offered me a life line and I took the life line and accepted their friendship we messaged each other on Whats App a lot LOL and decided to meet up they visited me at my home went well and returned the visit and visited them in their home town we had a great time sadly to me the life line is so frayed and ready to snap I am hoping it will all work out as this person had a lot in common including excessive hoarding I wish I knew what was wrong so I could put it right folks I feel so sad now and empty Thanks for reading

[KeeKee]

Sorry you feel this way bigboy. I think a big issue with meeting people with mental health issues (assuming this person in question had them) is that we can often be unreliable, unapproachable or we can take things the wrong way. It could be that this person may also be worried he/she has done something wrong.

I know it's hard, but try not to think it's you. You have did amazingly just by meeting up with somebody, that's something I couldn't ever do. You are putting yourself out there and eventually you'll meet a true friend. Don't give up.

[Bigboyuk]

Sorry you feel this way bigboy. I think a big issue with meeting people with mental health issues (assuming this person in question had them) is that we can often be unreliable, unapproachable or we can take things the wrong way. It could be that this person may also be worried he/she has done something wrong.

I know it's hard, but try not to think it's you. You have did amazingly just by meeting up with somebody, that's something I couldn't ever do. You are putting yourself out there and eventually you'll meet a true friend. Don't give up.

It could be just hope they will eventually see what it's doing to me underneath I know they are a good person with many problems which I want to help them with as much as I can

[ana]

Have you tried having an open conversation with them? Tell them you're scared of losing them, talk to them about how much they mean to you and how you feel close and connected to them. It sounds like you are there for them and them for you, and I see no reason why the friendship should fall apart. A few years back, I met up with a person I'd spent 10 years talking to on here. Her anxiety is not as severe as mine and she's able to travel, so meeting her was inspiring, and we still keep in touch, and I consider her a good friend.

[Bigboyuk]

Have you tried having an open conversation with them? Tell them you're scared of losing them, talk to them about how much they mean to you and how you feel close and connected to them. It sounds like you are there for them and them for you, and I see no reason why the friendship should fall apart. A few years back, I met up with a person I'd spent 10 years talking to on here. Her anxiety is not as severe as mine and she's able to travel, so meeting her was inspiring, and we still keep in touch, and I consider her a good friend.

Hi ana I have tried and all they say (well in the past) oh it's all tickety boo we haven't spoke on the phone for a while now and I keep suggesting it, It was very good months ago Yesterday I messaged them saying I wanted to die (and I did mean that) they replied You don't want to die and they were busy at work this time of year well I guessed that any way LOL I will come and visit you in Feb ( and I know why but respect their privacy so won't disclose it on here) Trouble is this was supposed to have happened months ago. I do feel connected and felt released from my emptiness, but now I don't. So I hope things will improve soon as I feel like a player on a Snakes and Ladder's board that just
landed on snake and is nearly back at the start again!!

[ana]

Oh dear :( I'm so sorry to hear that things are not so good at the moment. I don't want to impose my opinion because I'm neither familiar with your situation nor do I know the person in question, but it sounds to me like you care more than they do. You're invested, whereas them... hmm maybe not as much? You shouldn't feel like you're on a Snakes and Ladder's board if the person is right for you. The worst kind of loneliness is the one you feel when with the person who causes you to feel pain.

[Bigboyuk]

Oh dear :( I'm so sorry to hear that things are not so good at the moment. I don't want to impose my opinion because I'm neither familiar with your situation nor do I know the person in question, but it sounds to me like you care more than they do. You're invested, whereas them... hmm maybe not as much? You shouldn't feel like you're on a Snakes and Ladder's board if the person is right for you. The worst kind of loneliness is the one you feel when with the person who causes you to feel pain.

Hey it's ok just wish I knew what is wrong then I could put it right and that makes sense Hoping once again they will be reading this next time they visit the forum. Any way just been doing some chores round the house so that helps a little and to me honesty is the best policy and you don't string people along pretty simple really Cheers X

[KeeKee]

I agree with honestly being the best policy bigboy. I'd take brutal honestly over lying anyday. It shows respect in my opinion to be honest with somebody.

[Bigboyuk]

I agree with honestly being the best policy bigboy. I'd take brutal honestly over lying anyday. It shows respect in my opinion to be honest with somebody.

100% on that every time. Hey I am hanging in there but it's tough going let me tell you. Thank goodness for NMP and the support that goes with it Cheers

[ana]

I hope you resolve the situation with the person in question and feel lots better soon. Also, I absolutely agree with the above: honesty is the best policy.